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‘You have no idea why I stopped things from going further. It’s something I feel strongly about, all right?’
‘I know exactly why you stopped, Brooks. You saw me naked and you touched me and kissed me, and…’ Her eyes fill. The sight is like someone driving a roundhouse kick into my gut. ‘Don’t. Don’t touch me. I get it. I wasn’t what you expected or wanted.’
‘Izzy, please.’
‘Please, what? Huh?’
Before I can think of the right words. Before I can tell her she was more beautiful than ever when she was naked, that kissing her was like my entire world breaking from the safety of orbit and spinning into outer space, her name is called by the guy running the karaoke.
She tugs her hand out of mine and makes her way to the stage. I move into the group as Sarah, Becky, and Madge start whooping and whistling.
The music begins to play and I recognize the track right away. Cher’s ‘Just Like Jesse James.’ Izzy stands on the slightly raised stage. She is looking down when she first starts singing.Hot damn, this girl can sing. When she dips into her lower register, her voice is husky, yet soft, with a British lilt. It drives straight to my groin without stopping to look for hazards.
When she glances up, there is no mistaking the intent in her eyes or who she’s aiming her words at. Her voice grows sterner as she calls me out with the lyrics of the track.
The others start to talk about how good she is. Then I hear a few comments about Izzy and me. Someone asks if I’m certain there’s nothing going on between us.
All I tune into is Izzy, as she sings, ‘If you’re so tough, come on and prove it.’
One night.
I push aside everything running through my head telling me this is a bad idea.It can’t be one night. There’s tomorrow, in the gym. She’s just another Alice. You’re setting yourself up for a painful letdown.
Tilting my head back, I drain the last from my bottle, and pull my wallet from my back pocket. I slap sixty dollars on the table for the next round and make my way across the bar, with only one thing on my mind.
She watches me make strides toward her. Her voice falters but she keeps singing to the final note before making her way off the stage, where I’m waiting.
Using the lyrics she directed to me, I ask, ‘So, you want me to show you what my loaded gun is for, Izzy?’
As she looks up at me, her lips part, and I think she might have stopped breathing. I wait, praying that this is going to end the way I want it. My heart is thumping so loud, she must be able to hear it. My entire body is charged with desire. I want her. Hell yeah, I want her.
Eventually, she nods.
I lift my hand to her cheek. She watches me, unmoving, until I slide my fingers into her hair. She closes her eyes and I press my mouth to hers. Her lips are as soft as I’ve been remembering. Her taste, something that’s delicious and distinctly her, is mixed with wine. It’s a heady concoction.
‘I’m taking you home.’
She opens her eyes and licks her lips. ‘One more,’ she says, before grabbing my T-shirt and pulling me to her. She kisses me in a way that makes me need to get her out of here.
I take her hand and lead her through the bar, noticing how her fingers seem to fit between mine, as if we have been holding hands for years.
The arguments are gone. Forgotten. Because in this moment, all I can see is her smiling and laughing, making me laugh.
20
IZZY
Day 5
With his bulky, unshaven, tattooed appearance, and his crabby, don’t-mess-with-me personality, Brooks is not my type. Everyone else seems to love him. His clients and friends adore him. He’s obviously Mr Charming with other people, but with me he’s like a hungry baboon 24/7 – and that was before I actually made him hungry 24/7. In fact, he’s exactly the kind of man I would date just to narc my mother.
So, yeah, I’m just as surprised that I sat at home last night brooding because I missed him. I missed Brooks Adams. There, I said it. I didn’t just hate that we hadn’t had sex in that shower and that he made me feel like the last woman on earth he would ever sleep with, but I had no one getting in my way when I made my dinner. There was no one bickering over everything I said. God knows why, but it made me feel so lonely, I eventually gave in and went to the bar to see him.
Now, lying tucked into his side, the sun’s first light warming my bedroom, it somehow makes sense. I won’t overthink this. I know I’m leaving in just over a week. I also know that Brooks and I are truly incompatible human beings. But here, in this moment, tucked under the heavy arms that I decided last night have a very good purpose, I’ve fallen and I’m happy to just let that be.
Brooks shifts beneath me and inhales as he drops his lips to my hair.
‘Morning.’ His voice is gruff, as if we were up all night. Oh wait…
