AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘What?’
‘I think that might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.’
I fight my curling lips. ‘Yeah, well, you need to get out more.’
As I settle into the opposite corner of the sofa, she starts to strum a song I don’t recognize. She stops to tune the guitar and then sets off again. It’s a delicate picked opening, using only the bottom three strings. Then she starts to strum, and a gentle, melodious voice follows.
She sings about a soldier leaving for war. About the people he leaves behind and the friends he’s going to make. The song and her voice are enchanting. I’m drawn in by the smooth flow of her wrist, the gentle shuffle of her fingers, the movement in her neck as she forms the lyrics.
When she’s finished, she hands the guitar to me. ‘Your turn.’
I take it from her. ‘You didn’t tell me you could play the guitar like that, as well as sing. What was that song?’
‘It’s actually something I wrote. Did you like it?’
‘Like it? Izzy, that was amazing.’
Her cheeks flush as she curls her legs beneath her and rests an elbow on the back of the sofa. ‘It’s what I used to want to do.’
‘Sing?’
‘All of the arts, really. Singing, dancing, songwriting, theatre.’
‘Why didn’t you stick with it?’
Suddenly her warmth fades. ‘Because my mother stopped me at every opportunity. Because it wasn’t taking steps toward being a doctor. Because it wasn’t guaranteed to earn money. It was like the figure skating. As soon as I started competing, she stopped me. When I wanted to apply to the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, she refused to let me.’
‘So now you sort of dance for a living but don’t?’
‘But don’t. That’s funny. Now I pretend I know what I’m talking about and make YouTube videos and I wrote one book but don’t have enough material for another without completely going against my own advice. I never go out and I have no friends, so who won?’
‘If you don’t enjoy it, why do you do it?’
‘There’s a question.’ She forces a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, then sighs and rests her head on her palm. ‘I love dancing and being fit and healthy. If the book is a success, then… I don’t know, I guess I feel like I have something to prove.’
‘To your parents?’
‘It sounds silly, doesn’t it? You don’t even have to answer that. I’m twenty-eight years old and I still give a shit about what my parents think.’ I swallow hard, knowing this is another opportunity to mention Cady. I don’t. ‘You want to break free of your parents, defy them, and make them proud all at once. It doesn’t sound silly so much as limiting.’
‘How do you mean?’
I run my thumb gently down the strings of the guitar, thinking of the right thing to say. ‘At some point, you need to start living your life for you and not other people.’
The irony of that statement is not lost on me. For so long, I’ve been living for what could have been. Under some illusion that maybe if I was good enough, I would get Alice back, that we would be a family with Cady. In reality, my daughter is about to go to college and her mother is never going to be mine.
Maybe Izzy’s right. Maybe it is time I think about what I really want from life. Maybe I need a new plan.
I sit forward, set the guitar across my knee, and start to play the chords to Johnny Cash’s ‘Hey Porter.’
I set all other thoughts aside and in my best version of Johnny Cash’s southern accent, I sing the opening lyrics to the song.
The sound of Izzy’s laughter is reason alone to keep playing and forget everything else. I strum faster and sing harder. Izzy stands on the sofa and starts wiggling her hips and turning her arms to the beat. Soon, she’s singing along. Both of us are happy and carefree.
Tonight, life is better than okay.
22
BROOKS
