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The worry in her tone had him looking at her more closely. “Why? Because it makes me a bad ruler?”
She made another sound, this one leaning toward exasperation. But her headshake was firm. “No. You’re doing a splendid job of keeping our folks’ spirits up and staying on top of things, which makes it even better that I passed the crown back to you earlier. For the record, I always thought you would make a good ruler.”
Surprise filled him, not expecting the outright vocal support and how much he appreciated it. But it didn’t erase the misery he felt, kept at bay with the bottle he held in his hand. To be truthful, the bottle felt more like a display these days, because the alcohol wasn’t doing a very good job of getting him drunk enough to forget.
“Gee, thanks.”
“But thisisn’t the Rick I know,” she continued, persistent. They were in his room, where she had barged in, confident of their privacy as she started in on him. A part of him wondered if he should have just gone to another room and hid from everyone—but then again, Erin’s persistence knew no bounds and she would still find him. “This isn’t the Rick I’m used to.”
“I drank and partied and had fun. I was great and charming but an irresponsible ass. That’s the Rick you were used to and that’s the Rick that’s in front of you now.”
“No.” She folded her arms stubbornly. “You’re drinking now but I see no fun. You’re miserable, brother. And I know why.”
“It’s not up for discussion—”
“Em. Emerald. That witch has you wrapped around her finger.”
He glared at her. She glared back. He growled at her, but she ignored it and glared harder.
“Don’t you dare talk about her that way,” he warned.
Her glare disappeared and she smirked, all smug.
“And that just proved my point, brother. Also, for the record, I didn’t call her witch as an insult.” She shrugged. “I have been developing a healthy appreciation for the skills they bring to the table and how beneficial it would be to have one or two as an ally.”
“We don’t do allies.”
“Things can change and rules can bend, brother.”
He eyed her in disbelief. A part willed her to go away and leave him alone, but another was revving for the argument. Erin seemed ready for it, her hair vibrating in her stillness and her lavender eyes spitting energy. He almost felt sorry for the bastard who would have to deal with that fiery spirit in the future.
“Since when?”
“Since the Winter Court was infiltrated and we’re not as impenetrable as I thought. Emerald helped us. Em could have been our ally.”
Her name shouldn’t have brought on the image of beautiful green eyes, but it did. The more Erin said that name, the more memories resurfaced to plague him. One of their last moments together hit him with a rawness that made his body weak, but what followed crushed his heart until he could no longer take in air. Rick closed his eyes, dealing with that emotion—tucking it in where no one could reach it. When he opened his eyes, he felt dead inside.
“It doesn’t matter. She didn’t stay.”
Silence.
“Maybe because you didn’t ask her to.”
His head snapped up and his gaze met hers. Anger boiled.
“What do you want me to do?” he demanded. “Keep her here and imprison her? Lock her up just because I felt something? That’s not how it works. I would rather cut off my hand than hurt her like that.”
Erin opened her mouth, then closed it. When he tried to turn away, she knelt before him, willing him to keep eye contact.
“You could have asked. You could have told her how you felt regardless of what I and the others felt.” She hesitated, then, “When I voiced out my disapproval before, I didn’t consider things from your perspective. I didn’t realize it would hurt you this badly.”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought it was a fling, brother, like all your other flings, except elevated a bit because she was different from your usual type.”
“She wasn’t a fling. She’s not. She’s…”
The woman he loved. The woman he let go because he didn’t want to be selfish…but what if Erin was right and he should have tried to fight for Emerald and not let her go so easily? He looked at his sister again—really looked, reading her face. The understanding so confidently displayed there stunned him.
