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One of the things I had wanted to do more in my life was getting involved with charities. I didn’t really get to do much of that in the past four years. I wanted to reclaim that part of myself, so I had reached out to a few local charities to see what was going on in town. I discovered that there was a list of children in the hospital and when their birthdays were. It also included a bit of information about each child. It stated what they were in for, how long, and any family that they had.
“Well, what can I do to help?” Liam offered, and I couldn’t help but be surprised by it.
“You ever ice a cupcake?” If Liam was willing to help, I wasn’t going to be turning that down.
It was actually really good to see him offering. I knew his anxiety with messes was going to take a long time still for him to fully overcome it. But he had taken a massive step in the right direction, and for that, I was really proud of him.
“I have not. But how hard could it be right?” he asked as he looked at the boys who gave confident nods.
“Do you want chocolate or vanilla?” I asked as I held up the two piping tubes.
“I’ll take chocolate,” he said, and I handed it over to him.
“Alright, we are going to ice, and you boys are going to decorate with the sprinkles. You can make any combination that you want. Afterwards, we can head out and go see Anthony,” I explained to the boys, and they both went and sat on their knees so they were higher up in the chair.
“You think he like?” Christian asked.
“I think he’s going to be really surprised and happy to share his birthday with someone,” Liam answered.
“He get better?” Jeremy asked this time.
That was going to be the hard part. I didn’t know if Anthony would get better. He was fighting an aggressive leukemia; he had been for three years now. This very possibly could be his last birthday, but that wasn’t something I could tell the boys. They were too young to understand most of this. I’m sure some would say taking them was a poor decision. That because they were too young to understand death that it would be hard on them to see someone so sick.
However, I believed that giving back started at a young age. That even if they couldn’t fully understand the depth of the situation, they could understand how much it meant to Anthony to have this surprise. They could understand the joy that comes from it, and it was that understanding that would stick with them as they grew up.
“I’m not too sure Baby. He’s fighting very hard, and he has amazing doctors and nurses there to help him,” I answered.
“Sometimes people are sick with something that takes a lot of work and time to get better from. They can be stuck in a hospital for a long time, and it’s important to try and make their time a bit more enjoyable,” Liam added.
“Where Mommy and Daddy?” Christian asked as he sprinkled a cupcake.
That was going to be a hard one. I wasn’t too certain what Liam would want Christian to know or how he would put it. I had always told Jeremy that when someone dies, they go to Heaven, up in the clouds. He was so young, he didn’t fully understand what the concept of death meant. He just knew that someone was there one day, and he never saw them again. Thankfully, we had only one person in our family pass away since he had been born.
I looked over at Liam and spoke, “D-i-e-d, c-a-r, c-r-a-s-h.” I spelt out so he would understand the basics, and it would be up to him how he wanted to handle it.
An understanding filled his eyes, and he gave a nod before he turned his attention back to the boys, “They were in an accident and are now up in the clouds.”
“Heaven?” Jeremy asked.
“That’s right Little Man,” Liam said with a warm smile and hearing the nickname for my son sent a wave of heat throughout my chest.
Adam never gave Jeremy a nickname. He said that nicknames were stupid, and it didn’t help a child’s development. He actually told me once that by me giving Jeremy a nickname, he was going to grow up not knowing his own name which was ludacris.
“He no mommy or daddy?” Christian asked, and I could hear the hurt and sadness in his voice. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking about his own mother after going so long without her.
“He doesn't. Some kids don’t have parents because they are in Heaven, or they weren’t good people. It’s sad, but that is why good people need to be there for them to help them. Like doing something like this. Anthony is going to be so surprised and happy to get to celebrate his birthday with someone,” Liam explained.
It was a hard concept, and they were really too young to fully understand. When I had offered to throw a little party for Anthony, I did so because he deserved it. At the same time though, I didn’t think completely on how the boys would handle it. I didn’t anticipate them having all of these questions, and that was my fault.
“We could play Hungry Hippos,” Jeremy suggested.
“That is a great idea. We could bring some games that you guys could play,” I easily agreed.
“Is he in Portland?” Liam asked me.
“Yeah.”
“You know what we could do after the hospital? We could go to Playdate,” Liam suggested, and Christian’s whole face lit up.
