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I don’t know what to think about Axel anymore. About us. I only know that everything has changed, shifted into an uncharted territory I’m not ready to explore.
Maybe we can pretend this never happened. No matter how much my traitorous body might wish otherwise.
I bury my face in my hands, tears burning behind my eyelids.
The worst part is, I don’t regret it.
With a watery sigh, I rise to my feet and head back inside. The classroom is dark and empty now, but I can still feel Axel’s presence lingering in the charged air.
I trail my fingers along the desktops as I walk, remembering the heat of his hands on my skin, the raw desire in his eyes as he gazed up at me. Like I was the only thing in the world that mattered.
My heart squeezes at the memory and I close my eyes, hearing his gravelly voice in my ear again.
The night air is cool against my flushed skin as I emerge from the school. In the distance, a lone figure stands.
My heart leaps at the sight of him. He came back for me.
Axel pushes off from the wall as I approach, his gaze searching mine. “I didn’t want to leave things the way we did.”
“Neither did I,” I admit softly. “I’m sorry for running out on you like that. I was scared and confused, and I shouldn’t have—”
“Shh.” He presses a finger to my lips, silencing my apology. “Don’t. I understand why you did it. But I’m not giving up on you that easily, Maya.”
“Axel,” I whisper, trying to gather my strength.
A slow smile curves across his mouth. “Remember, for better or worse.”
Five
Axel
I grip the pen in my trembling hand, staring at the blank sheet of paper in front of me. My heart pounds as I sit at the desk in our bedroom, the only light coming from the dim lamp in the corner.
I left the reunion heartbroken, defeated, but after turning and tossing all night, I know what I have to do.
Our bedroom. So many memories haunt this room, both bitter and sweet. The rumpled sheets on the bed remind me of tangled limbs and whispered words of love. The framed pictures on the walls capture happier times, before everything fell apart.
With a sigh, I run my free hand through my short cropped hair and glance around at the familiar surroundings. In my mind’s eye Maya’s silk robe is still draped over the back of the armchair in the corner, the faded pink fabric a reminder of her softness. The lingering scent of her perfume seems to still cling to the air after all these months, enveloping me in her essence.
God, how I miss her. Miss us. I never should have let her go. And jumping on her like some teenager in a rut at the reunion… Fuck, no wonder she took off like that.
Gritting my teeth, I force myself to focus on the task at hand. I have to do this. Have to pour my heart out to her, tell her everything I’ve been too stubborn and foolish to say before. This may be my last chance.
My last chance to win her back. To save us.
With trembling fingers, I start writing. The words flowing as if my soul is bleeding on the page.
Maya, my love, my heart, my everything…
I pause, blinking back the tears that threaten to fall. Then I continue baring my soul with each sentence. Hoping… praying this letter will be enough.
That she will read the depths of my love for her in every word. And find it in her heart to forgive me.
I lose myself in memories of happier times as I write. Of candlelit dinners and slow dances in the kitchen. The way Maya would look at me, her beautiful eyes glowing with love and desire, as if I was the only man in the world for her.
As if I hung the sun and the moon.
I’m such a fool. How did I ever let work become more important than the woman who means everything to me? The woman who’s always been by my side, who shared my triumphs and sorrows, my hopes and fears. The woman I vowed to cherish forever.
