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“Is the train station in Seoul like this?” she asks.
“I don’t know. I’ve never taken the train,” I admit. “I have a driver who takes me everywhere. I jokingly refer to him as my best friend. Wow, that sounds more pathetic than I meant for it to.”
She laughs, erasing my momentary embarrassment. “I totally get it. I’m beginning to think of Mrs. Choi as my summer BFF. I thought I’d love the lavish life and all the space to myself. But it’s kinda secluded too.”
“Welcome to my world,” I say.
“Is your world...” she hesitates, “always this lonely? Because I kinda feel lonely. As much as I complain about living with my parents and not having enough space, I guess I don’t love being alone as much as I thought I might.”
“To be honest, I don’t think I ever allowed myself to think of it as being lonely. Because that would suck. And there’s not a lot I can do about it. But I have to admit that being around other people and making friends this summer has been pretty awesome. I just can’t help but think that they’re all...temporary? It’s not like any of them are gonna want to be my friends once they find out who I really am. And honestly, would I even be able to be theirs? When I’m back to being myself, I don’t think there’s a way for me to keep anything about this summer other than memories.”
She’s quiet. Is she thinking what I’m thinking—that I wasn’t just talking about the other interns?
I’ve made it awkward.
“Wanna take a train and just...go somewhere? Like, hop on the next one that’s leaving, and see where it takes us?” Jessica’s voice is high-pitched, animated, excited at the thought of a destination-less journey. It’s a side of herself I don’t think she lets people see, spontaneous, adventurous. I consider myself lucky.
I look at the train schedules posted over the ticket windows. “It’s late. I don’t think we’d be able to catch a train back home if we leave now,” I say. I hate being the voice of reason. It’s rare for me. But there’s no way I’m putting Jessica in a dangerous situation. And getting stuck at some out-there train station without a ride back into the city seems pretty sketchy.
“Then come over tonight,” she suggests. “I’ll make us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and we’ll watch a movie and we’ll share stories to tell our dads and we won’t think about all the work we have to do, all the things waiting for us after the summer, all the things we hate thinking about.”
I can’t possibly say no.
“Sounds like a plan,” I say.
But neither of us moves to leave. We remain seated, shoulder to shoulder. And like I always want to do whenever she’s near enough, I lean into her, nudging her, a wordless gesture to let her know I’m enjoying just being with her here.
She nudges me back.
Our bodies are touching now from our shoulders to our thighs to our feet. If I tilt my head just a little bit, we could be connected there as well. I lick my lips, wondering if I’m brave enough to make that move.
“Elijah?” Jessica’s voice is just barely louder than a whisper. But we’re so close, I can hear her clearly despite all the white noise of thousands of commuters.
“Yeah,” I answer.
“Ella told me about this really cool spot in the park, but we didn’t get to go while she was here. It’s a bench that faces these huge rocks, and behind them in the distance is a perfect view of the city skyline. The contrast between nature and industry sounds so cool, and I really wanna see it. Will you go with me sometime, when it’s not dark and we won’t get killed?” Jessica turns and smiles at me before laying her head on my shoulder. I find it just a little bit harder to breathe. “I’d like to takeyousomewhere, showyousomething amazing next time.”
No really, where’s all the oxygen when you need it?
“It sounds incredible. We’ll definitely have to go.” My voice is low and raspy.
She lifts her head off my shoulder and I miss the contact immediately. Jessica nods at my answer with a satisfied look on her face and turns her focus back to all the activity of Grand Central Station in front of her. “And, Elijah, just know that no matter what you say, I really hope we’ll be able to stay friends after the summer. It’s not like anyone else would understand all of this. And though that’s our burden, I kinda also like that it’s our secret too.”
I’m both surprised and touched by her honesty. But I don’t know what to do with it. So I just answer with some honesty of my own.
“Me too,” I tell her, turning my gaze to the bustle of commuters as well. I guess it’s easier for us to admit these things without looking at each other. “To all of it.”
16
jessica
“We’ve received over a thousand applications in just the first day,” Roy announces.
The room erupts and I high-five the hands that are held up in front of me. “Way to go in getting the word out,” I say to Soobin.
“Thanks to the designs Henry put together, they were so eye-catching,” Soobin says.
I love to see the team giving each other the credit they all deserve. We’re only a couple more weeks out before the hackathon and we’re working the longest hours to date. But everyone is in great spirits. As expected, the rest of the company hasn’t even taken notice of what we’re doing. To them, we’re just a bunch of kids working on a silly after-school project.
