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But I am worried. There’s so much that Jessica doesn’t know, that I don’t have time to warn her about. Like the fact that my dad requires everyone to wear black or dark blue to not distract from the meal, and Jessica has on a yellow blouse. Or that he doesn’t allow anyone to have ice in their drinks for whatever fucked-up reason. Or that the seat to his right is the place of honor. But if you’re next to him on his left, you’re on his shit list and he’ll turn his back to you the entire night to make a public fool of you. God, I hope she isn’t seated to his left.
But most of all, I have to make sure she remembers that he’s not a good person, to please please please don’t fall for his act. I want to say to her,Don’t let him wine and dine you and change your mind about me. Trust me. Believe in me.
“I’ll call you later,” Jessica says. “I promise.” She grabs my hand and squeezes. But before I can squeeze back, she’s let it go.
And all I can do is watch her walk away.
23
elijah
Hey, can we talk?I text Jessica again.
I haven’t seen or spoken to her since yesterday’s surprise appearance by my dad at the hackathon. I haven’t seen or spoken to my dad either. None of this bodes well.
My screen remains blank.
“So is this a good time for me to point out the obvious, that something doesn’t seem right in the land of Haneul Corp?” Jason asks.
We’re back at our tiny intern apartment. Despite the weak window A/C units that do nothing to lessen the stifling heat and humidity, the usually empty fridge and diet alarmingly lacking in fruits and vegetables, the lumpy beds, and the complete lack of privacy, somehow, through the course of this summer, this place has come to be a safe space.
But in this moment, the walls feel like they’re pushing in on me.
I don’t have it in me to explain everything to Jason right now. So I shrug my shoulders and go back to staring at my phone, willing for a message to appear.
“Maybe you want to get something off your chest? Free yourself from the burden of a secret? You know, like why the CEO of the company shows up and hey, come to think of it, you kinda look a lot like him.” Jason keeps pushing.
I look up slowly and meet his eyes. There’s no accusation there. Just curiosity.
“There’s so much that needs to be shared with everyone, I know. It’s just, I gotta get ahold of Jessica first. And I swear, I’ll tell you all about it later.” I can’t divulge anything without talking to Jessica—I don’t want to make assumptions for her. But I’m tired of living the lie. I don’t hate the life it has allowed me to have this summer, but it sucks deceiving my friends, the people who have come to trust me and like me for who I am, not who my family is.
Jason nods. “It’s Saturday morning. She’s likely not at the office. Maybe she slept in after the hackathon? Or she could be sightseeing. Doesn’t she live by Central Park?”
The park.
“Yeah, good thinking. Hey, let’s catch up later. You’re right, there’s a lot I need to come clean about. But for now, I gotta go,” I say.
I rush out the door, leaving Jason and my lies behind.
“I thought I might find you here,” I say. Jessica is wearing denim shorts and a white V-neck T-shirt, her hair tied back in a messy ponytail. She reminds me of the girl I ran into at the airport our first day here.
She looks up at me, eyebrows raised. “Wow, I thought this stuff only happens in the movies. You found me at a random bench in Central Park?” She narrows her eyes at me, realizing the odds of this happening are quite small, actually.
“Not random. You told me about how this is Ella’s favorite spot in the park,” I remind her. “I promised I’d come here with you.” I take the seat next to her on the bench. “And I could lie and say I got lucky with timing. But I actually went by the brownstone first. Mrs. Choi said you were going for a walk.” Jessica’s smile is warm, but not the kind that usually lights up her entire face. She’s bracing herself for the conversation we’re about to have. I lean forward and grab the end of the bench seat on either side of my legs, holding on.
She nods, lowering her gaze. “I’m sorry I haven’t answered your messages. I was busy with...”
“...with my dad?”
She still can’t meet my eyes. She’s looking just off to the right of me at something, at nothing. “How could I say ‘no’ when the CEO of Haneul invites me to dinner to celebrate?”
“Well, we have to figure out how we’re going to come clean to our dads about this summer. Obviously my dad knows already. But yours is looking for answers.”
“Why does it have to be a big deal?” Jessica asks. “Your dad knows, yes. But he hasn’t even brought up the fact that I’m in your position and you’re in mine. I don’t think it bothers him,” she says. I see the thoughts running through her head. Is she trying to convince me or herself of this?
Problem is, I know my dad, and I’m just waiting for shit to hit the fan.
“It bothers him. Trust me. He does not like being played the fool. And he may not take it out on you. I hope he doesn’t. But I’m counting the minutes until it’s time for him to take it out on me,” I say. “It’s probably why he’s kissing your ass. He knows it makes me uncomfortable.”
