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“You mean ourlivesare not alike,” I say. Because if this summer proved anything to me, it’s that I can fit in with other people. I don’t have to hide away in some ivory castle. I can work, make friends...fall in love...just like everyone else. Just like Jessica. But the words stay locked away. I don’t say any of it.
She shakes her head and takes a step back, putting space between us. I don’t like this move one bit. “No, I mean,weare not alike,” she responds, gesturing between the two of us. “We don’t think the same way. We don’t approach things the same way. You’ve never had to live your life accountable for anything. You know, you can mess up or don’t do your best and someone’s gonna cover for you no matter what. Meanwhile, I can do the best job I possibly can and someone’s still gonna find fault.”
It feels like Jessica is blaming me for all of this. Like I’m the reason the world favors the rich and privileged.
I can feel heat rising in my bones, my temper flaring. “You can’t be mad at me for the families we were born into. I can’t change the fact that I’m a chaebol,” I say.
She turns her back to me and looks straight ahead in the distance. The juxtaposition of Central Park and the city skyline so close by is supposed to make this specific spot magical. Instead, it feels like we’ve just been scammed by a false sense of beauty, when the lies and demands of the city are just minutes away.
“Elijah, remember what you told me from the start? Rich people use other people to get what they want. Last time I checked, you’re the one handing over hundred-dollar bills to security guards, bribing fabric store managers...” she glances over her shoulder back at me, “...paying the New York Library on your personal credit card and lying about it.”
He knows. And he told her. My dad told her. And she’s using information he gave her against me. What exactly is she accusing me of? Using money that I have to pay for things we needed? What’s the harm in that? It’s not a fucking sin to be rich.
“You didn’t seem to have a problem enjoying theHamiltontickets and all those designer clothes and that huge brownstone. Do you think those things are free? Money gets you things you need, the things you want. Don’t get angry at me for spending my family’s money for the library when you’ve been loving all the other shit this same money has given you this summer,” I say before I can stop myself.
“Fuck you.”
I freeze.
Jessica never swears.
And hearing it come out of her mouth, it sounds sharp like razors, slicing through her outer shell. Two words betray how hurt she is. And I feel it deep in my core.
I tell my feet to move. I want to reach out to her, hold her and apologize and ask if we can try to figure this all out together. But I’m stuck to my spot, the feeling of betrayal growing roots within me. She sided with my dad over me, didn’t she?
“Jessica, what are we fighting about? Is this about the job? Our bank accounts? Or is it about us and our feelings and—”
“—and some girl waiting back home for you?” she asks.
My jaw falls open at her words. “Wait...what? What are you talking about?”
Her entire face drops, along with her shoulders. As if the weight of some secret, bigger than the one we’ve been keeping together all summer, has settled on her. As if she’s finally built up the nerve to ask me a question she’s been keeping from me.
“Is there someone you’re going to be set up with in Korea? A daughter of someone important for Haneul Corp?”
I scan my brain for what she might mean by this, what she might have heard. And it hits me, the conversation with my dad over the phone, the night Jessica and I went toHamilton. The daughter of the Paik family...but that’s all just my dad spewing nonsense, making plans for my life I have no intention of following through with.
“No, no. Are you kidding me? Do you think I’d agree to be set up with some random person because it’s good for the company I don’t give two shits about? And you think I’d be here in New York falling for you if that were true? Seriously?”
Jessica searches my eyes for some truth I’m not telling her. Or for some proof of a lie.
“You’re falling for me?” she asks quietly.
“I am.” I said it. I meant it.
But she doesn’t return the words. Instead, she stitches her eyebrows together and swallows. She sits down on the park bench, her hands gripping the slats like mine were at the start of this conversation. Her feet don’t reach the ground and she swings them back and forth, watching them as they move to an unheard rhythm.
There’s something about this that is so utterly charming, I just want to wrap her in my arms and kiss her. I want to take her far away from here, from my dad, from our mistakes and make it right for her, for us.
I sit down next to her, but not too close to scare her away. How quickly things have changed. All summer, our bodies felt drawn to each other, like we couldn’t get close enough.
“Do you remember when we first met up at the coffee shop?” Her voice is so quiet, I can barely hear her. She’s talking down at her feet, not at me. None of this feels like a good sign. “The day when we first figured out the mistake, and then you made the suggestion that we switch lives for the summer?”
“Of course I do. Best first date of my life,” I say. I force a smile to overcome the sudden awkwardness between us.
She closes her eyes as if pained to open them and see the truth. “You told me I should take this opportunity. You knew I needed to have something, anything, given to me to make my road ahead easier. You talked me into this by presenting a path I would never have been offered before. And I took it. Because you were right.” Jessica opens her eyes and turns to look straight into mine. “I’ll never have a chance like this again, Elijah. I need your dad’s help.”
I know my father. I know how he operates. He’s a negotiator. He’s a shark, waiting to devour his prey. He isn’t doing any of this out of the goodness of his heart or because he’s impressed with a lowly intern. Even one as remarkable as Jessica. “The introduction to the ‘right’ people, the letter of recommendation...what did my dad ask of you in return?”
