Page 26 of Salvation/Mamba


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“I got in a little over my head with—” He stared through the windshield not knowing how to continue.

“I know you’re not using again so why are you in debt?”

“The house, all the shit for the house, a lot of things.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I thought I could handle it myself.” He gripped the steering wheel tighter than necessary.

“We could’ve cut back a long time ago.”

“You were loving the house and all the shit that went with it. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“Those things don’t mean anything without you.” She reached over and squeezed his hand. “You know I don’t need all—”

“It was me,” he blurted out. “I needed it—I wanted it. Giving you the best made me feel like I’d finally done good.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “I wanted to prove to myself and everybody else I wasn’t a bum, and—”

“A bum? You’ve given me everything.” She smoothed her hand over her belly. “Including our baby.”

“That’s not it . . . Well, maybe it is partly—Shit, I don’t know. It was like the more I bought, the more I needed, but it was never enough. Fucked up, I get it.”

Mandy drew in a long, deep breath. “Not fucked up. Human. You got wound up in it all, but I think you should be asking yourself, why?”

Mamba rubbed at the back of his neck. “I’m gonna start going to regular NA meetings again.”

Her head whipped in his direction. “You are using?” The shakiness in her voice gutted him.

“No, no, but the feeling I got buying shit was similar to the first hit of coke or placing a bet. The excitement, the anticipation, then the devastating let down when I’d realize how much money I spent.”

“I just wish you would’ve let me in sooner, let me help you or at least shoulder some of the burden.”

“In the beginning it was the usual denial. Thinking I could fix shit, thinking it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t tell anybody about my money problems, not even the Serpents, until I got in too deep. Then I went to the wrong people for a loan.”

Mandy slowly shook her head. “I’m so sad you dealt with this yourself all this time, then I’m so angry you didn’t tell me.”

“From now on until I get this shit sorted, you are either gonna have me or one of the Serpents with you twenty-four-seven.”

Mandy opened her mouth to protest and Mamba cut her off. “And I don’t wanna hear any bullshit, cause if anything ever happened to you or the baby cause of my—”

“It’s fine,” she soothed. “I understand.”

10

“Geez, fuck, say something.” Mamba zeroed in on Cobra’s flat expression.

He’d come clean to the Serpents about the money he owed, and who he owed it to it, but hadn’t gotten to the job he’d done for Marita yet.

Cobra toyed with the pack of Marlboro’s in front of him, then leisurely knocked out a smoke, plugged it between his lips and lit up. Talk about torture, was his prez intentionally fucking with him? Probably considering the last time he fucked up he almost landed his ass in jail.

Cobra blew out a long stream of smoke. “This is some serious shit.”

So much for stating the obvious. By this time Mamba’s gut was twisting around his intestines. The last time he fucked up Cobra sent him south to a beat-to-shit fight club in the middle of the desert. Who knew what the fucker would do now, and he hadn’t even heard the whole story yet. Shit!

“There is something else.”

Cobra narrowed his eyes. “What else could there possibly be after telling me you’re ass deep in debt with the most fucked up people in this town?”

“I, ahhh, I . . .”Fuck, stop stammering like a goddamn pussy.“I got a lead on the trafficking ring.”

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