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The officiant, a tall woman in a burgundy dress that Lucas’s mother found for us, smiles and starts talking, but my vision blurs with tears. Lucas smiles at me, and I know he thinks my tears are from happiness… but they aren’t. It’s fear. It’s dread. It’s the unknown that I can’t deal with.
It’s him and his green eyes and the way his hands felt on my skin… so different from Lucas and the way he touches me.
The officiant talks as I continue to spiral. My hands are in Lucas’s and he squeezes, attempting to calm my nerves, I know, but it’s no use. It isn’t until the officiant asks if anyone has any objections to Lucas and me marrying that my brain finally hears her words, like they’re some magnetic force my ears needed to latch on to.
My final chance to speak up.
But I can’t.
He’s a good man.
I look into his eyes and smile, pushing it all away.
“Yes.” A deep voice comes from somewhere distant, and my heart seizes in my chest. A collective gasp rings out in the crowd, and Lucas and I break our stare as we search for the voice. “Yes, I do. I object.” My eyes land on his green stare, and every single ounce of control I had left evaporates from my soul. He’s not here. I’m imagining this. There’s no fucking way.
“I’m sorry?” The woman who just asked the question is clearly not used to anyone actually objecting. My stare flashes to hers for mere seconds before finding his again.
He steps around a few guests, who remain seated, and starts the long walk up the aisle. My breath hitches in my chest as I take him in, unable to look away. He’s wearing a black tuxedo that fits him perfectly, clings to every muscular angle of his body. As he walks, he adjusts his black tie, keeping his head low but his eyes fixated on mine. I can’t fucking breathe. I haven’t seen him in years. I know he’s here, but he feels like a figment of my imagination as he makes his way closer to me.
“You’re not marrying him, DJ,” he says once he reaches me, and I can no longer control the chaos inside me. I choke out a sob. “If you marry this man, you will never forgive yourself. And I will never forgive myself for allowing it to happen,” grits out Kade, the man I was supposed to marry years ago—one of the men who left their imprint on me, the one who fucking ruined me—and I flinch backward.
“What the fuck?” One of Lucas’s groomsmen tries to get out of line and make his way toward Kade, but Lucas holds up an arm, stopping him in his tracks, his eyes not leaving mine.
“Declan?” Lucas’s eyes search mine for answers. “What’s going on?”
I do the only thing I can even remotely contemplate doing right now.
I run.
***
1
***
DECLAN
***
SIX WEEKS LATER
“I broke his heart,” I say to Isla and her sister, Veronica. “I deserve every terrible thing the tabloids say about me.” Swiping the gossip magazine out of Veronica’s hands, I look at the photograph gracing the front cover of Gossipgram’s weekly tabloid magazine. Apparently, someone so lovingly subscribed our label to the magazine, because it randomly showed up this morning. I look fucking deranged, like a damn psychopath running out of the winery entrance. Who did I think I was? Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride?
I saw the paps standing at the entrance of the winery as I hightailed it out of there, my makeup smeared from tears streaking down my face, and my hair windblown. I knew these photos would be all over social media, but still? After six weeks? Surely, the media has something new to talk about. Didn’t Jen and Ben just get back together? Surely, there’s a Kardashian causing drama somewhere.
I’ve come to terms with my feelings, with the fact that I hurt a good man who would have given me all of himself for the rest of our lives. But at the same time, I wasn’t being true to myself. In the end, no matter how our breakup came about, Lucas would have been hurt. Still, though, it doesn’t make me feel any less guilty. I’ve spent the better part of these last six weeks holed up in my house, only leaving if absolutely necessary.
“You’ve really been through it lately. And now, with Spence coming back to the city…” Veronica shoots Isla a look.
“Oh, come on, V.” Isla rolls her eyes. “Declan and the guys mutually decided they wanted to extend the position to Spence Reid.”
His name alone sends shockwaves through my entire body. Those emerald-green eyes that both Spence and his brother, Kade share are permanently burned into my mind’s memory.
“Did I miss something?” Mia comes into the office of the building we’ve rented out to be Rebellion Records’ headquarters. “We have a new employee?”
Mia is Miller’s little sister. When the guys and I decided to open our own record label, we wanted to keep as many family members in the business as possible. Mia handles our social media, and she’s crazy good at her job. She plops down onto the red leather sofa, Veronica and Isla sitting opposite her. Swooping her long, dark hair up into a ponytail, she tilts her head to the side, waiting for an answer.
“It’s a long story.” I smile sheepishly and shrug.
