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“That’s a pretty miserable outlook,” I said.
Troy shrugged again. “Yeah, but it’s also a realistic one.”
I nodded. He had a point, although there was beauty everywhere, too. Kids and their innocence usually brought back that beauty. That’s what I saw with my sister’s kids.
“What about you?” Troy asked. “Do you want kids?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I can’t say I’m violently against the idea, but I’m not ready for it right now, you know? I have a career I want to focus on, and when kids come into the picture, then everything else has to take a back seat. It’s not fair not to put them first, so until I’m ready to do that, I won’t have any.”
“Very wise,” Troy said.
I smiled at him, but my smile faded again when I thought about the kids, which led to me thinking about Rachel. I checked my phone for signal but apparently the lines were still down.
“I wish I could call my sister and find out how she’s doing. I’m terrified of losing her,” I said.
“Is she very sick?”
“She tried to be upbeat about it, but I think she might be. They caught it early, but what if it’s not early enough?” The fear of losing Rachel could choke me, it was that powerful. I’d already walked this road once—I couldn’t do it again.
“If it’s something they can control, her odds are better,” Troy said.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s sick, but sickness can be healed, or managed, at least. The doctors who know what they’re doing will do what they do best. It’s not the same as someone being ripped away without any way of fixing it.”
I frowned. Troy’s face had changed from positive and happy to grim, the corners of his mouth downturned, and his eyes dull.
“You sound like you’re talking from experience,” I said softly.
Troy shrugged. “We lost our brother when we were kids,” he said. “It was stupid, a freak accident. Jake was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and there wasn’t anything that could be done. By the time they got him to the hospital, it was too late, and the only way they could help was by making him more comfortable before he died.”
My blood ran cold. I knew what that pain felt like; I knew how it felt to be completely helpless and have my whole world ripped away.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“It’s okay,” Troy said. “I mean, it happened, so there’s not much that can be done about it.”
Was that what he meant, that the world wasn’t a place he wanted to bring kids into?
“Scott did something great with it,” Troy said. “He became a doctor to help other kids who might be saved, but that doesn’t bring Jake back. It’s better just accepting the facts and moving forward.”
I didn’t know what to say, and I hated it.
“Anyway,” Troy said and cleared his throat before he downed his wine in one go. “That’s enough gloom for one night, this is supposed to be a fortress of fun.”
I laughed. “It really was today.” I thought of something. “Do you think we’ll be out of here by tomorrow for the review with Johnson?”
“I don’t know,” Troy said. “If the phone lines are up at least, we can do the presentations online, if all else fails.”
“Let’s hope,” I said.
I wanted that contract. Troy was a great guy, and we’d spent a great weekend together, but that didn’t mean that I just wanted to roll over and show my belly when it came to the contract and getting it for either of our companies. I was serious about my job, and so was Troy. No way I would just give it to him like that. I really needed the cash, and from what I knew about him and his lifestyle, he didn’t need the cash at all. I would get a significant bonus and get closer to a promotion with this contract. What would it do for him?
“Do you know if Hailey and Scott got together?” Troy asked suddenly.
“What?”
“Your friend.”
