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I resolve then, as the sun sets, that I will use Slyth as much as I know that he is using me. He is a naga, and he could never want me for anything more than sex.
Your feelings for him don’t matter. He doesn’t care about you. Remember what the naga have been doing to the humans for decades.
It has been six years since I fled from Jalma with my mother.
My chest still feels funny. As though my heart is no longer beating properly. When I lift my hand to my cheek, my skin is cold and rubbery.
I don’t feel like myself any longer. Meeting Slyth has made me come undone. I am coming undone.
I have been losing, losing, losing for eleven years. For six years. For five days.
First I lost my father and the home I was born in. Then I lost my mother. And now I am losing myself to one of the very creatures I have vowed to destroy.
It is only a matter of time before you get to Kriseri and kill him. It is only a matter of time before you kill the royal family. And you’ll use Slyth to do it. And you won’t feel guilty about it.
Balancing my desire for revenge and my plain desire for Slyth leaves me in a precarious position. Thinking straight is difficult, and I am finding it nearly impossible to sort out my own feelings.
“Are you okay over there?” Slyth calls, and I am dragged out of the dream-like state that I fell into.
“Yes. Are you feeling better? Do you need anything?”
“Yes, I am feeling better, and no, I don’t need anything. Come sit with me.”
His voice is so soft and gentle that it hurts. I swallow the lump that has been growing in my throat for days and sit down next to him.
It is only a matter of time before you take your revenge. And then you’ll need to forget about everything else.
Including how you feel about Slyth.
15
SLYTH
At some point, I have to go back to the inn. It would be easier to stay in this little shelter with Lorelai, but I’ve established a base camp there. It was where I returned whenever I finished my day at the marketplace. If I don’t show up there eventually, people will think I’m missing and that could mess everything up.
It’s also where I’ve told Zalith and Rory to contact me if they need to. But I don’t tell Lorelai about that. It’s clearly best not to mention my Prince around her.
On the sixth day, I wake up and don’t feel any pain in my body. That’s when I finally decide it’s time to do it. I simply don’t have any more excuses to put it off.
“You’re leaving?” Lorelai asks after I explain my thoughts to her. It’s the first time she’s said something like that, the first time she’s shown me any hint of vulnerability, her face uncertain as she looks back at me. Clearly, she’s used to people leaving her, and it kills me to know that I must leave her as well, even if only for a short time.
“Yes. I’m needed, as much as I might prefer to be here.”
Her gaze is thoughtful and wary as she looks at me, rolling her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Fine.”
“Careful, little killer, or I might think that you’ll miss me,” I tease. Something about her worry and the slight sliver of fear on her features makes me feel leaden. She’d refuse to admit it if I pressed her, but it’s no less clear.
Lorelai scoffs, rolling her eyes, but the tension in her shoulders doesn’t dissipate. I decide to try a different tactic and cross the distance between us slowly, my eyes never leaving hers as I kneel before where she sits.
“Will you let me come back?”
She blinks at me, not even trying to hide her surprise. I half-expect her to tell me no, to push me away as she has before, but after a long stretch of silence, she nods.
“Fine. But only because you asked nicely,” she adds, arranging her features in a cool mask of indifference. I smile, unable to bite it back as I push up to my feet.
“I’m nothing if not nice,” I say with a wink before ducking out of her shelter. The delicious crimson color splashed across her cheeks is almost enough to make me stay longer, even if just to tease her, but I’m behind as it is.
