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“Yes, you are,”he says, panting for breath as we stand opposite each other. The space under Maksim's house where we train, just down the hall from my cell, is huge but you can't see how high because the ceiling is pitch black.“Maybe one day, you'll beat me,”he adds with sarcasm.
I attack him then, going for his face but I change my attack at the last minute.
The images in my mind zoom in and out of focus.
“This is James,”Maksim says, introducing him to both Demetrius and me.“He will be training with you.”
We look at each other as the seconds tick by, while Maksim is ordering Demetrius to teach James one style of fighting—to kill. James is wearing a leash that's attached to a black leather collar wrapped around his neck and a pair of black trousers, nothing else. He's slender, and I imagine hungry. His skeleton ribcage is a disgusting sight, the bones all but screaming their way out of his tightened flesh. He eventually lifts his lips in a smile like he knows me, and I blink at him with confusion, glaring in character. He doesn't know me. I don't even know myself.
The only thing I know is Maksim.
Numb to emotions, I stand there day after day, night after night, and watch Demetrius beat James half to death. He will keep beating him half to death until James fights back.
James begins to fight back and I feel admiration for him. It's the first thing I remember feeling except for fear.
When we're alone after training, he starts talking to me, asks if I know who I am.
“Blaire, when I'm bad,”I say, because my master has told me I can talk to him,“my little pet, when I'm good.”
“It's the same for me,”he says,“though I'm just called, my pet.”
“We should leave,”James says from within my cell this time, as we flicker to another time. He's pointing at the open cell door, my cell door, shaking from head to toe.“Now's our chance.”
My instincts come over me for the first time, like a red mist erupting.
I will never leave Maksim.
I shove James up against the damp, watery wall with my forearm pressed across his now strapping chest, growling in his face,“Disloyalty means punishment! Disloyalty means punishment!”
“He won't know,”James begs for me to just leave with him.“We won't get another chance!”
“There's nothing out there for us without Maksim,”my voice comes out detached, but this is me now.“If we're good, we're rewarded with his good mood. If we're bad... you know what happens.”
“You've passed,”Maksim says from behind,“take the boy and tag him.”
After this, I see more. So much more. The years go by in my mind faster than I thought they would.
Maksim leaves me out in the cold unmanned. It's dark and I can hear rustling in the nearby bushes. He's testing me again. Though I remain on alert for if trouble breaks out, I don't move. I stand there under the trees in my master's garden until he returns and pets me...
...In Russia, it's so cold. My teeth chatter and I can feel the chill in my bones.
Maksim leaves me outside Tatiana's house to stand guard. That's when I hear them, the Turks, speaking badly about my master and his master. I pull a knife from my belt and give the first Turk a smiley, slicing through his mouth, unresponsive to the blood pouring over my hands. I cut out the next Turks tongue so he cannot speak poorly of my people again and shove it down his throat. James watches me, doing nothing.
My reward doesn't come but neither does a punishment, so I'm okay.
I flash to a corner in my cell, cowering under Maksim who is looming over me, disappointment ruling his expression. His eyebrows are drawn together, making him look evil. He pulls up the zipper of his trousers.
“I'm sorry,”I sob, sliding down the cold, damp wall. I stuff my head in my naked knees as I pull them up to my chest. “I'm sorry for saying no.”
“Please don't hurt her,”James stands there in the doorway, pleading with glossy blue eyes to our master.“I'll do whatever you want, just please, don't hurt her.”
It's just about to happen—the first time I ever see Maksim fuck James—and then...
...I go to a place where I want to be this time. I dream I'm lying in bed with Charlie, embraced in his arms. He's playing with my hair, his fingers running through the strands. Maksim is nowhere to be seen and I like the idea. It's just us.
“Don't leave me,”Charlie whispers in his familiar, raspy voice. Cupping my face in one large hand, he turns me into him, putting us eye to eye. His are glowing with fear, bluer than I've ever seen them.
Why the fear?
