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It would be so perfect.
The next thing I noticed was a sign. It was new, clearly since it wasn’t the one from the pictures. It sat in the yard and proudly exclaimed that the house had been sold. There was no name on it for the realty company like usual, nor was there even the name of the agent. Just a little sign that said sold. I scanned from it to the door, where the no trespassing sign was now gone. It was probably scattered among the stuff in the yard, where I assumed a giant trash bin would be soon.
Someone had bought the house, and my heart dropped. Everything I had been building up for ever since I saw it was now lost. I would never own the perfect house for the bed and breakfast, and instead someone else would own it and do God knew what with it. Devastated, I turned to Ryan.
“Get me out of here,” I grumbled.
“What?” he asked, seemingly confused.
I didn’t understand. The house supposedly wasn’t even on the market. I had asked about it, and they said the owner wasn’t interested in selling because of the family situation. If they had changed their mind, why didn’t the realty company call me and let me know? The agent knew how much I wanted this place. How could someone swoop in and buy it if it wasn’t even supposed to be available? And why in the hell would Ryan bring me to see it? To rub it in my face?
I was hurt, disappointed, and sad. Ryan’s initial look of enthusiastic glee was just an extra layer of it all. It had cratered, though, and now he seemed to be genuinely upset. It was confusing.
“Why did you bring me here?” I asked. “Just to show me this?” I paused for a second as a thought hit me. “Was it so I didn’t find out some other way? Was that it?”
“Don’t… don’t you—” he began but I shook my head.
“Stop,” I said, cutting him off. “It doesn’t matter. Just take me home. Now, please.”
“If you will just listen to me for a second,” he said.
“I will listen to you, but you have to listen to me first,” I said, feeling the questions and worries of days and days building up. My emotions, which were already hard to deal with after the baby, were at an all-time breaking point. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes, my fingers clenched, and the nails bit into my palms. “I know something is going on.”
There was silence in the cab of the truck for a moment as the words rung out. They held so much weight, so much accusation even if they weren’t specific. But I didn’t know what I was accusing him of. I needed him to just tell me what it was that had become our problem. Then I could deal with it.
He looked shocked, maybe embarrassed as he turned in his seat toward me. I tried to read his face, but it was impossible through the tears that were turning my vision watery. But I kept my voice low and even, trying to be as steady as possible. I didn’t want to wake Leo, who had been rocked into staying asleep by the gentle sway of the truck, and I didn’t want to get too emotional and wake him up.
“Are you trying to say,” he began, his eyes sliding away from mine and to the steering wheel, as if he were processing what he thought I meant before I said it. It only upset me more. It was condescending and dismissive. It reminded me of how my ex used to speak to me, as if I needed an interpreter, and he was the only one qualified to translate the world to me and me to the world.
“I’m not trying to say anything,” I said. “I am outright saying something is going on. We need to talk. We need to talk about the phone calls. All the time you’ve spent away from me and Leo. All of it. I know something is happening.”
He sat there, his mouth grimacing and his eyes shut. Whether that was out of frustration or guilt I didn’t know. His hands were pushing against the steering wheel of the truck, and his head was leaning back into the headrest. He was frustrated. But I didn’t care. I needed answers. And I needed them now. Not just for my sake, but for the baby’s too. He deserved to have his life settled before he got old enough to remember things.
“Allison,” he began.
“I know things between us happened really fast,” I said, cutting him off again in order to make sure I got it all out. “We fell into this relationship in a hurry, and a lot is happening. So I just need you to know that if this isn’t what you want, I understand. I just want to know.”
