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And last night…Christ, last night and this morning had been…nice. More than nice. I couldn’t even find it in myself to be embarrassed over the things I’d said to him because now I had a cuddle buddy. Maybe to others that would be silly, but I didn’t give a fuck. I thought it was awesome.
I did my best to force Spencer out of my mind for the rest of the day, giving all my attention to my patients. My last appointment was at three today, which meant I was done by four. I went to the gym for the second time, figuring that working out twice would help counter all the sugar I’d had the day before, then went home and took a quick shower, snapped a photo of myself in my underwear, and posted on Instagram. As soon as the hearts and comments started coming in, I felt the familiar buzz of pleasure flush through me, that feeling of being wanted and feeling attractive and like I mattered. It never lasted, but the shot of endorphins it released inside me kept me going for a while.
Me: What are you doing tonight? I thought you’d probably want my company.
I sent the text to Spencer without a second thought, then almost regretted it. Not that I didn’t want to spend time with him, because I did, but for once I worried about coming on too strong. What if I annoyed him? But then if he wanted to hang out, I could make him some dinner or something. Or take him out. Maybe Spencer would like Nils, the Mediterranean restaurant Marcus and I loved. Afterward, he might be down for another cuddle session.
Spencer: I’m going to be at the center until about eight or nine. We’re having a party for the teens.
My good mood immediately deflated. Well, shit. There went that idea. I thought about calling one of the Beach Bums, but I knew Dec was working at the bar. Park said he and Elliott were going to a political fundraiser with Elliott’s parents. I couldn’t push myself on Marcus, even though he’d messaged to see if I wanted to have dinner with him.
I sat on the side of my bed, leg bouncing as I wondered what to do, when I remembered I hadn’t replied to Spencer.
Me: Have fun. I might head out with this guy who wanted to hook up.
I was a lying liar who lied. Well, not that I couldn’t find someone. It was never hard to find men who wanted to fuck, but I didn’t already have someone lined up. Flipping out of my texts, I went straight into an app, scanning my messages.
Show me your ass.
Fuck, you’re hot.
You down?
I clicked on Craig, this guy I’d been with a few times.
Me: Hey. You have plans tonight? We could go have a drink or something.
I didn’t know why I told him that. When did I ever just have drinks with these guys? Or a meal? That wasn’t what we did. We lost ourselves in each other’s bodies and then said goodbye, but if I was going to find a boyfriend, heading straight to sex probably wasn’t the best way to go. Plus, Craig was cool. He made me laugh. He’d maybe be good boyfriend material.
Craig: Can’t really do the drink, but I have about an hour if you can host. I can make you come at least twice in that amount of time. He sent a winky emoji.
The buzz I’d felt after posting the photo was already gone. I was always down to fuck, but for some reason, the thought of it made me feel empty right now. Did anyone just want to spend time with me?
Spencer: You should come down. I can’t promise how fun it’ll be for you, but we always have a good time. The kids are great.
A surprising little party started in my chest.
Me: I knew you missed me. Sure, I can come down. It’ll be a blast. We’ll make sure of it.
Spencer: I missed you so much, Corbin. How would I ever enjoy my night without you?
I shoved to my feet.
Me: Luckily, you don’t have to find out.
Spencer: Shut up and get over here.
Me: You’re really impatient for me. On my way now.
Spencer: If that’s the case, why are you keeping me waiting?
Wait…was he flirting with me? No. If it were someone else, I would think so, but that didn’t fit Spencer…I didn’t think.
Who the fuck knew?
I finished getting ready and ordered a car to pick me up. I got outside right as it pulled up, and I jumped in. The drive to the center was short. The windows were dark, and you couldn’t see inside, other than the random flash of lights. Two people were at the door when I arrived.
“Do you have a ticket?” one of them asked. I glanced at the pronouns on their name tag and saw she/her. The other said he/him.
