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“Strange, right?” I finally replied. “The hard part is how I’m going to deal with missing all the sex,” I joked.
“Um…why would you have to miss sex? Marcus and I fuck all the time,” Kai replied. I didn’t have to look to know Marcus made a face. “What? It’s true. And from what I’ve heard, my boss is a dirty-talking sex machine,” Kai said, referring to Declan—Declan owned a bar called Driftwood, and Kai was one of his employees. “Not to mention Elliott over there, praising Parker and almost making me weak in the knees.”
I laughed because Kai was fucking great.
After more back-and-forth, Declan eventually reeled everyone in with, “You guys realize we’re at a fundraiser?” He and Marcus were always the ones who got us back on track.
I couldn’t help letting my eyes wander around the room. I didn’t know what I was looking for exactly…maybe someone who would want to hook up tonight? I could use that, losing myself in sweaty sex, sating desires…
And then I noticed him. Spencer Chase. He’d moved into the apartment next door to mine a while back. I didn’t know what his problem was with me, but he definitely had one. I knew he listened to The Vers, the queer podcast I hosted with Declan, Marcus, and Parker, because he’d made comments about things I said there.
He definitely thought I was shallow—and keeping it real, I kinda was. I cared about how I looked, wanted people to be attracted to me. Okay, maybe I spent too much time thinking about those things. I could see where people thought that, but I’d spent the first half of my life being the butt of people’s jokes, teased and tortured, being called fat and having them make fun of my acne-prone skin and anything else they could think of to make me feel like shit about myself.
Why did so many people enjoy making others feel bad? Why did they point out flaws and always have something negative to say?
Spencer thought I perpetuated a negative stereotype about queer men, that I was enabling a dangerous narrative about body image that hurt queer youth.
“Ugh. Spencer’s here,” I said, but I had to admit, I felt a familiar zing beneath my skin. While it didn’t feel good to hear the things he’d told me, I’d found a way to annoy him, and that was fun. We bickered like an old married couple, and for a reason I couldn’t understand, I enjoyed it. Can anyone say masochist? But then, maybe it was also because I wasn’t dead and could see the way Spencer ate me up with his eyes, could see he wanted me, and maybe wanted me even more when I gave him shit.
“The asshole neighbor?” Marcus asked. Uh-oh. He had his daddy pants on.
“I hate him, and I don’t even know him,” Parker said while I still watched Spencer.
He was cute as fuck. His blond hair was styled in a neat crew cut tonight, and there was a fine layer of scruff along his jaw, which wasn’t something he kept consistently. I’d seen him both with and without it. He had this round, cute nose and pretty green eyes. His broad chest and rounder stomach filled out his tux nicely. But my favorite thing about him was his smile. It looked like he belonged in a toothpaste commercial. He had a wide, boy-next-door grin…that was rarely focused on me. “I’m gonna go talk to him.” I could see the confusion on their faces, so I explained, “I’ve made it my mission to annoy the shit out of him.”
Without waiting to hear what the guys had to say about it, I headed straight for Spencer. As I knew they would, they were right behind me.
“Can I help you?” Spencer asked, eyeing me, before his gaze shot to my friends, then landed on me again.
“Came to say hi. I’m just being polite. You should try it sometime,” I teased, and reveled in the scorching heat in his gaze.
“I’m not playing this game with you,” Spencer replied, just as Cat approached.
“Oh, Spencer! Have you met my son?” Cat said, then to us, “Spencer is the outreach coordinator for the LGBTQ center here. He’s also very active in his work on ending the stigma of HIV and AIDS.”
I didn’t know Spencer well, but that fit in perfectly with my general impression about Spencer, and I admired him for it. That was good work and something I was interested in hearing more about, but I also didn’t want him to know I was really curious, so I played it off like I just wanted to frustrate him. Also…it gave me a reason to continue talking to him. “Wow. That’s really impressive. I’d love to hear more.”
Spencer gave me a forced smile. “I’m sure you have other things to do.”
