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“Then why risk so much?” Shorty asked.
Hell, Mayhem didn’t even know. He’d thought, at first, it had been because he’d been so hard up for her, but then, after a while, something changed. He wasn’t in love with her, didn’t want an old lady—at least he didn’t think he ever would—but he certainly didn’t think of her as just a piece of ass.
But thinking of anyone else having Butters annoyed him, had this heat moving through him that wasn’t good. He knew getting involved with this, with her, wasn’t the smartest move, but Mayhem had never been one to think rationally when he wanted something as badly as he wanted Butters.
“Because,” was all he said, because he didn’t have an answer that would sit well with the guys, not unless he was claiming her as an old lady. If he did that, then they’d know he was serious about her, and risking a hell of a lot would make sense.
“Man, ain’t no pussy worth this shit,” Shorty said.
Mayhem growled out, curled his fingers into his palms, and glared at the patch. “Watch your mouth.” The room was silent, the tension clear. The guys started shifting on their seats after he and Shorty stared at each other.
“For someone who doesn’t want her as an old lady, you sure are possessive and ready to tear a brother’s head off.”
Some things didn’t need to be discussed, and when Mayhem didn’t even know how he felt for Butters more than what this week would entail, he also knew that he was acting out of character.
If he was asking the club for backup, he would have wanted to tell them how fucking confused he was with this shit, but as it was, the only reason he told them about any of this was because Fury thought it best to keep the club in the loop.
“You might not want the club’s help, but you know, no matter what or how little information you want to give us, we got your back.” Shorty said.
Mayhem knew this, even if he didn’t deserve it because he wasn’t forthcoming with any information. He breathed out and leaned back in his chair, looking around the table at all of his brothers in arms.
Being truthful and loyal was high in the club’s view. Being there for each other and making sure the club was always protected was a priority.
“Truth is, I have no idea what the fuck I’m feeling for Butters.” He didn’t tell them about the deal he’d made with her, about how he’d paid her the money in trade for her pussy and time for the next week. All the club knew was that he was helping her out.
Maybe they thought her working at the MC was her way of being square with him? Either way, what’s done was done, and he knew he couldn’t change any of it.
“When’s the drop-off?” Fury asked.
Mayhem ran his hand over his hair and glanced at the president of their club again. “Tomorrow night, I’m heading down there.”
“Well, we’re here, brother, but we’ll let you do your thing. We know where you’re at and what time, so if shit goes down, we’ll know who fucked with you.”
Mayhem grunted and nodded once. Damn, he felt like a piece of shit for having the club involved in any way, but he couldn’t lie and say he wouldn’t have done this all over again for her.
If that’s the case, you need to think long and hard about what Butters really is to you.
Chapter
Sixteen
“You’re doing okay, though?” Nate asked on the other end.
Butters sat on Mayhem’s couch, stared at the big screen TV that was off, and tried to sound like she wasn’t missing her brother and worried every second of the day.
“I’m okay.”
She didn’t miss how weird Nate sounded. It had only been two days since she’d been gone, and although Nate didn’t know exactly what kind of deal she’d made with the biker, she’d seen the expression on his face that told her he knew enough.
“You sound weird. Are you sure everything is okay?”
There was amount of silence, and then Nate cleared his throat. “I’m fine, Renee. I’m just working on getting things cleared up.”
That had her sitting up straighter on the couch. “Getting things cleared up? What does that mean?”
“It doesn’t mean anything,” Nate said and sighed. “It just means I’m tired of being the shitty brother who gets his sister put in crappy situations.”
She closed her eyes. “You have an addiction, Nate. A lot of people have a hard time fighting those.”
“Yeah, well, I hate it, and I hate myself.” A moment of silence passed. “What if that biker hadn’t come along and had the money to bail me out?”
She didn’t respond, because she honestly didn’t know what would have happened.
“Yeah, exactly. I would have been dead, but they would have made sure you were hurt, as well. They would have made me watch, Renee. I hate myself. You’re all I have in this shitty world, and all I do is make things worse.”
