Page 12 of Chase

I could still feel them touching me, and my stomach was rolling with nausea. My entire body ached from the beating I’d taken. I was just appreciative of everyone at the clubhouse still treating me as if everything was okay. They didn’t treat me differently just because of the hell I’d endured. Here, I was just another woman.

If they walked around me like they were treading on eggshells, I might very well lose my mind. I needed some kind of normalcy. I already couldn’t go back to my shop until all the repairs were made, and even then, Chase might make me wait until after they took care of whoever came after me before he let me out of the clubhouse. Here, he knew I would be safe. I could be protected. Out there, back in the real world, there were too many variables to consider.

It was clear Chase was protective over me, and I could see the blame he placed on himself in his eyes, even if he tried to hide it from me.

It wrecked my soul. Ithurtme to know he was hurting, too. And no matter what reason those fuckers had for doing this to me, the blame would always lie with them for making the decision to rape and beat me.

Never with Chase. Never with this club.

I’d been a damn fool to ever think Chase was the bad guy here. Sure, I knew they didn’t operate on the right side of the law. The whole fucking town knew that. But it didn’t make them…bad.

Was there such a thing as decent criminals? Because, if so, that was the category Chase fell under.

“Hey.”

I jerked my head up from my plate, blinking at Jessica, Scorpion’s wife. She was child-free at the moment, and I took a random guess that her kid was with Scorpion. I hadn’t laid my eyes on Destin yet, though I’d heard his chatter early this morning. No doubt, he was an adorable kid. I usually loved kids, but the thought of having to deal with one right now, when I was so vulnerable, made my skin itchy.

“Hi,” I mumbled. I sighed, pushing my plate away. “I hate to waste this food, but I can’t eat,” I told her.

She gently laid her hand over my arm as she took a seat beside me. “Sophia, look at me please.” I looked over at Jessica, a frown on my lips. “No one is expecting you to eat or sleep much so soon after what you went through.” I swallowed thickly, tears burning in my eyes. I blinked them away. I refused to cry. Not again. My eyeballs literally hurt from how much crying I’d been doing. “But I know what you’re going through.”

“You do?” I rasped. My heart yearned to not be alone in this, though I didn’t wish this on anyone. Not even my worst enemy. I rubbed at my forehead. “I don’t know how to…”

“No one does,” Jessica soothed, somehow understanding what I was trying to say. My throat worked as I struggled to swallow past the lump there. “The only thing that heals this is time. Because while those bruises might fade, the memories never do. You just have to be patient with it.”

I blew out a soft breath. “Patience,” I mumbled. I already didn’t have much patience as it was.

She hummed and removed her hand from my arm. “Chase is worried about you,” she informed me. I swallowed again, trying to dislodge that lump, my bruised throat aching with the movement. “He cares a lot about you, Sophia.”

“This isn’t his fault,” I told her. I wanted her to know that, and it was important to me that everyone knew I didn’t blame him. He’d tried. God, how he had fucking tried to warn me. But I’d thought it was just another ploy for him to get into my pants.

I couldn’t have been more fucking wrong.

She sighed. “This is more than just him blaming himself for what happened to you.” My frown deepened. She let her eyes meet mine. “Chase hasn’t been pursuing you for months for something fun. He’s been in love with you for a very long time now.” My heart skipped a beat in my chest. I’d never even known that level of devotion existed. My dad had never even pursued my mom like that. But then again, their marriage had been rife with pain and abuse. I thought love was a bullshit notion. “And he’s terrified he may not be able to help you through this.”

I suddenly felt like the biggest bitch in the world. All those times he’d come into my shop, trying to get me to go out with him, I thought I was just a fun game for him to play. I’d seen and heard what the other men in the club talked about, the club women they fucked, the parties. The endless bachelorhood. I mean, hell, how many women had come in wanting biker romance books just because they’d finally gotten laid by one of the Satan’s Worshippers’ men?

I never thought he could’ve been different. That notion had been…impossible for me to even think of.

“Chase has somewhat of an old soul,” Jessica continued. “And he feels everything very deeply. He’ll do anything in the world for you, Sophia.” She drew in a deep breath. “Maybe it’s time to stop fighting him because you think you’ve got him all figured out and give him a chance to show you the man he really is. He’s more than the cut he wears on his back.”

With that, she stood up from the table and walked into the kitchen, leaving me to my thoughts. My hands trembled as I laced them together in front of me, my mind racing with her words.

He’ll do anything in the world for you.

Would he be willing to erase the touch of those fuckers from my skin? Because that—I needed it more than anything in the fucking world.

Sleep was evading me. I envied people who could use sleep as an escape, no matter what they went through. Because every time I shut my eyes, those fuckers flashed through my mind. Them being masked didn’t help matters a bit. I could still hear them. Still feel them. I knew the texture of their hands. I knew how tight their grip was. I knew how hard they could fucking hit.

I pushed myself into a sitting position and dropped my face into my hands with a long, loud groan. How the fuck was I going to do this? Move past this? Healing felt like a big joke people who didn’t understand liked to say.

I wasn’t sure I wouldeverheal from this.

I looked up when the apartment door quietly opened, and Chase stepped inside, quietly shutting it back behind him with a barely audible click. He jerked in surprise when he saw me sitting up in bed. “Jessica said you might be sleeping,” he rumbled. He walked over to me, his boots thumping across the hardwood floor. And somehow, that sound soothed me a little. Because unlike the assholes who had ripped away something I wouldneverget back, I knew Chase would never intentionally hurt me. “You okay, cupcake?”

Blowing out a soft breath, I shook my head. “Every time I shut my eyes, I see them,” I told him, my voice low. Almost barely audible. I looked up at him, tears blurring my eyes. He frowned, showing he heard me. Groaning again, I pushed the tips of my fingers against my eyelids, trying to hold the tears in. “I just wish I didn’t still feel them touching me,” I croaked. And that was the goddamn truth. Even if I couldn’t sleep again, I just wanted to lose that one damn memory.

“Sophia,” Chase rasped, sitting on the bed beside me. He drew me onto his lap so I was straddling him and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I sobbed, breaking down. Crying again even though I didn’t fucking want to. “I wish I could do something to help you, cupcake. God, I’d do anything to make sure you didn’t feel like this ever again.”

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