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I held her so tightly, I was surprised I didn’t crush her. That she didn’t voice I was hurting her. I held her like she could slip through my arms at any moment. I needed her as close as possible. I’d pull her inside of me if I could so I never had to be without her again.
We’d been apart for way too fucking long.
“They’re dead?” she sobbed.
I cradled the back of her head and gently rocked her as her tears soaked my skin. “Just one, cupcake, but I know who the other one is. I swear to God, I’ll gladly rip his soul from his body,” I swore. And I fucking meant that. I didn’t say that kind of shit lightly.
He’d pay for touching her. Without a fucking doubt.
Her nails dug into the back of my neck, her sobs wracking her body. “I love you,” she sobbed. My heart stopped in my chest at her confession. Shakily, I tightened my fingers on her. “I’m so fucking sorry it took me so long to believe you were always real with me. I’m so fucking sorry I wasted so much time. Please, Chase, I need—I can’t—I—”
She was panicking. Losing control.
I gripped a handful of her hair and pulled her hair back, running my eyes over her red, tear-stained face. Despite being a blubbering mess, she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in my life.
And she loved me. For some reason, despite all the pain and hurt coursing between us, she fuckinglovedme.
“You love me despite me running away, despite me fucking other women?” I rasped.
She cradled my face in her shaking hands and did her best to nod her head with the tight grip I had on her blonde strands. “Yes,” she rasped. “Neither of us are perfect. But I never gave you reason to believe I wanted exclusivity. All I’ve done is push you away. But I’m done with that, Chase. Please. Even if you still need time, please tell me everything will be okay.” More tears tracked down her cheeks. “Please,” she begged.
I crushed her mouth to mine. She moaned and relaxed in my arms, succumbing to my lips, submitting to me. Her lips softly moved with mine. And I took. I took so fucking much from her, everything she was willing to give me in this moment.
“I’ve always loved you,” I rasped, panting as I forced myself back from her addicting lips. Her eyes were a little glazed over, but she was definitely alert as she breathed in my words. Captured them way down in her soul. “Always,” I stressed, my eyes meeting hers. “Not a goddamn thing will change that, cupcake. And I’m still here. I’malwayshere. No matter what the fuck happens, I amyours.”
More tears streaked down her cheeks. “No one has ever done for me what you have.”
I slid my hand down from her hair and cupped the back of her neck, gripping just tight enough to force her to really listen to what I had to say.
“No matter what happens between us, cupcake, no matter how angry we get with each other or how much space I need, if you need me, I will come. I don’t give a fuck what’s going on, you hear me? I amalwaysyours to call on.”
She sniffled and leaned forward, kissing me again. I clutched her to me, my lips softer on hers this time. We took our time, our tongues slowly dancing together. I ran my hands over her curves, and she slid the tips of her fingers along my broad shoulders, down the ink on my back, and over my abs.
But there was nothing sexual about what we were doing. We were two lost souls finally finding a home within each other.
We mended each other. Sewed the ripped pieces of each other back together again. Glued puzzle pieces together. Welded our hearts into one.
Our love was the kind that had the power to become destructive, to become so fucking painful, it might very well kill us.
But it was a risk we were both willing to take.
14
Chase
“Ineed to finish my shower,” I murmured against her lips. I didn’t want to release her. Not when I finally got to hold her like this. Feel her against me. Fuck, her heart was beating in time with mine like we were meant to be together like this. But I still wasn’t fully showered and cleaned.
She sighed and pulled back from me, her dark eyes a little brighter than they’d been the past few days. Swallowing thickly, I reached up and brushed the pad of my thumb along her kiss-swollen bottom lip. “Wait for me in bed?” I softly asked her, watching as her eyelids fluttered at my soft touch, her teeth scraping over her bottom lip.
She nodded and stood from the floor, her clothes now damp from my skin. I forced myself to my feet and stepped back into the shower, ignoring the way my dick got impossibly harder at the sight of her stripping out of her clothes and tossing them into the hamper before leaving the bathroom. She was so goddamn beautiful, and she still didn’t even realize the kind of vice-like grip she had on every single part of me.
I was hers. Not a damn soul could ever rip me away, even if she decided she didn’t want me anymore. My words hadn’t been empty.
I was hers to call on. No matter what the fuck happened between us.
I gripped the base of my cock and nearly strangled it, trying to get my erection to go down. Neither of us was up for sex tonight, and fuck, I understood that. We needed time to just be together. I needed time to just feel her in my arms again, and she needed the reassurance that she hadn’t fucked up everything between us.
I knew I would forever see her blood staining my hands when I looked at them. There was no changing that. But maybe knowing she didn’t hate me, that she loved me anyway, would help me live with it.
