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Crossing my arms over my chest, I snort, “You’re not attracted to me, yet you went down on me? Does that even make sense to you?”
He comes a couple of steps closer and glares down at me, “It shouldn’t have happened and won’t ever again. I had a weak moment, Ivy. I went down on the first desperate female I could get my hands on. Prison does crazy things to a man. Now get out.”
My throat is tight, and I can barely breathe. When I came here, I thought he might spank me. It turns out his words hurt far worse than a hand or a belt ever could. I fight back the tears threatening to fall. I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me break. I turn around and leave.
CHAPTER TWELVE
NASH
The look in her eyes just before she turns around and leaves, hits me in the chest. I just did what, apparently, everyone does to Ivy, with very little effort. I made her feel like she didn’t matter. Like I don’t want her with every fucking fiber of my being. I had no choice. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her pain. She’s had enough of that to last her a lifetime. We can’t be together, ever. She’s far too young for me. And my fucking sister by adoption. My father and Mercy won’t care that there’s no blood relation.I keep trying to remind myself of that fact. No matter how much I want her it can’t happen. The only outcome from me and Ivy is heartbreak. I won’t do that to her.
Ivy deserves a man that’s free to love her. Someone that will show her off like the fucking stunning piece of artwork she is. I can’t do that. As much as I want her, she’d always be my dirty little secret. I’m not the man for her. She deserves better. So much fucking better. One day she’ll thank me.
I promised myself when I left prison, I’d make better choices. Everyone forgave me because I was on drugs. They knew I never would’ve done the things I did if I hadn’t been on heavy drugs. But Ivy. Fuck, there’d never be forgiveness for doing the things I want to do to her.
There’s nothing I want more than to steal her innocence. I’m the monster that wants to rip her to shreds and then piece her back together as I see fit. Hold her down and fuck her until she screams and cries. Turn her into my personal filthy slut. If she were anyone else, I’d do just that.
I force myself to lie down on the bed and close my eyes. After what feels like hours of seeing her in the darkness, finally, I fall asleep.
* * *
Wakingto banging on my door has me groaning as I try to open my eyelids. I get up to open the door. It sounds like the fucking police department is on the other side.
When I open it, I glare at my dad, who barges inside.
“Have you seen her?”
“Come on in,” I say in annoyance.
“Have you?”
I run my hand through my hair, “Mercy? No. Why would I-”
“Ivy,” he barks.
“Did you check her room?”
He sits on my couch and places his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, “I’m obviously bad at being a father. She’s gone.”
I sit in the chair across from him, “What do you mean gone?”
He sighs, “Mercy made Ivy’s favorite breakfast, brought it to her. She was gone. Her clothes. Gone. There was a note on her bed.”
He hands it to me, and I read it.
Mom and Dad-
I’ll never be part of this family. I was a placeholder until you had your real children. I’m eighteen. Your job is done. I can’t be here anymore. It hurts too much.
Mom, there's a picture under my pillow. I want you to have it. Maybe someday you’ll remember that day as fondly as I do.
I won’t be back. I won’t call. Forget about me.
~ Ivy
Fuck. This is my fault. My words were too harsh. Of course, they were. I was a complete dick. I know what I have to do.
“I’ll find her. Is Mercy, okay?”
