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She shrugs, “Then explain to me what happened.”
I lay my head in her lap, needing physical closeness, “I can’t. Please just trust me.”
“Get off me.”
I pull my head from her lap, and she pushes my chest, causing me to fall on my back, “You are not permitted to touch me in any way.”
“Until when?”
She glares at me, “Until you tell me the complete truth about where you were tonight.”
So never because I can never tell her the complete truth. The thought of never touching her again kills me. She’s my salvation, and she’s taking it back. I watch Ivy place her wineglass in the dishwasher, and then without a word, she walks to the bedroom. I’ve lost her.
I wait a little while to give her time alone before going into the bedroom. I get undressed down to my boxers and crawl in beside her. She flips over angrily, turning her back to me.
“Ivy, please. Can I hold you? I need you.”
“No.”
Having her in bed with me but unable to touch her is almost worse than her being somewhere else. It’s cruel torture.
“I want to tell you. I just can’t.”
She sniffles and asks, “If I disappeared like that on you and refused to tell you where I had been, you’d punish me until I cracked.”
“Princess, if you need to hurt me, I accept it. I can’t handle this. Taking away the ability to have you in my arms is worse than cutting off my oxygen supply.”
I stroke my fingers down her arm, she freezes and screams, “No is a fucking full sentence. Don’t touch me.”
Retracting my hand from her, I roll over, unable to look at her. It hurts. The pain is the worst I’ve ever endured.
“Dad was right, you know. You’re not good enough for me.”
Like a bullet to my chest, I’m bleeding out. Hearing those words from her is too much to bear.
“I know I’m not, Princess. I never have been. I never will be. I’m trash and you’re a fucking treasure.”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
NASH
Six Weeks Later…
The last wordsIvy spoke to me were that I wasn’t good enough for her. She treats me like an unwelcome guest. Every night she takes her dinner into her studio. I sit at the table by myself. I have continued doing Matt’s job, which I never wanted. The job that destroyed everything we had.
When she comes back into the kitchen to put her dishes in the dishwasher, I try to get through to her.
“Ivy, we need to talk. We can’t continue like this, Princess. Living together like strangers.”
“You’re right, Nash. We can’t. I agree.”
She closes the dishwasher and approaches the table, “One of us needs to move out. I’ll let you decide who it’s going to be.”
Her words take all the breath from my lungs. The pain in my chest is intense. I was right before. I’ve lost her. It’s over.
“That’s not what I meant.”
She crosses her arms over her chest and says, “It’s what I meant. You have three days to decide.”
