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I swallowed hard.
Jesus Christ, he couldn’t throw those memories in my face. We’d moved on. We were different men today—we didn’t exist on the brink of death. And in Moscow…we’d never been closer to losing our lives. But River was the one who’d had a red dot on his forehead.
“There’s no me without you. If you die…”
“Don’t be stupid, Reese.”
River took a step closer and stared at me. “I don’t wanna have that conversation with our roles reversed, but it still applies. If you don’t come back… If I losebothof you—”
I clenched my jaw as a surge of anger rushed through me. “We’re getting out of here, and we’re bringing Shay home. You got that?”
Our minds were usually so synched that it was rare he caught me off guard, but I’d clearly missed something here. I saw it now too. His eyes burned, and I sensed what he was leaving unsaid. It wasn’t just about me. He didn’t know if he could go on if we lost Shay for good.
“Promise me,” he murmured hoarsely.
I closed the distance between us and cupped the back of his neck, and our helmets touched. “Nothing’s gonna happen to me, Riv. I swear to you.”
We had our weak moments. Lord knew he’d picked me up off the floor more than a few times these past two weeks.
He nodded once and cleared his throat. “We have to find him. He’s gotta be okay.”
I nodded too.
He broke our gaze and looked down, his exterior cracking. “I miss him so fucking much.”
Goddammit. “Listen—” Fuck me. He made me crack too. We didn’t have time for this. I swallowed my emotions and gnashed my teeth. “I need my backup down there, all right? I can’t do this without you.”
He sniffled and nodded once more, and he composed himself. “Yeah—sorry, I just—”
“I know. I get it.” I squeezed his neck. “We can fall apart when we have Shay sandwiched between us, okay?”
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat again and reached up to adjust my face covering. “I’ll get my rifle.”
Good. We were back on track. I couldn’t handle him breaking, ’cause that’d be the end of me. His strength was mine.
I took over and removed my helmet to put on the balaclava properly. Then only my eyes were visible.
I pressed the button on my earpiece for the last time—until tonight was over. “RT1 and 2 back online. Initiate blackout in sixty seconds.”
“Blackout in sixty seconds, confirmed,” Ramirez replied. “Remember, you’re on your own when you get inside. The cameras will die too.”
“Roger,” I said.
Once Riv had his precision rifle, we hurried up to the top of the ridge, and I lowered my monocular and switched to night vision. Headlight off. I was careful not to peer directly at the house, because the lights were too bright down there, and I needed my vision to adjust to darkness ASAP.
While River lay down on his stomach and positioned his rifle, I signaled to him that I was heading toward the house.
“Approaching the house,” I reported quietly.
I hated this type of house. It was a modern monstrosity, a fish tank of straight lines and floor-to-ceiling windows.
“Thirty seconds to blackout,” Ramirez added.
As the glow from the house reached part of the slanted mountainside, I veered left to remain in the shadows.
When it was ten seconds to blackout, I had about sixty feet left to reach the concrete wall on the west side of the house. Ramirez counted down from there, and I took off in a run and let the adrenaline pump through me.
“In five, four, three…”
