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“I’ll take that flank so I can be close if he needs backup,” Mercier added.
It was a plan.
* * *
Gray Quinn
While the others did a final run-through of our plans and began strapping on weapons, I nodded for Shay to follow me.
Let this be our last night in Europe. I couldn’t wait to go home. After more than three weeks, FaceTiming with the kids just didn’t cut it anymore, no matter how much fun I knew they were having with Darius’s parents and my own. Not to mention aunts, uncles, and cousins.
I opened the back of our car and grabbed the two backpacks I’d prepared earlier.
“You’re good with a handgun, right?” I placed the backpacks at my feet and reached for the case with sidearms.
“I’m decent,” Shay said. “I’ve gone to the range quite a bit with Reese.”
That was great. “Hopefully, we won’t have to use them, but you never know.” I opened the case and handed him a gun and a holster he could strap to his belt—or his vest, like I preferred. “It’s already loaded. You just aim and shoot.”
“Thanks. I guess you’re used to this by now.”
I wouldn’t go that far, but I had a few operations behind me at this point. “Aside from the rescue op to get Crew out of Belize last year, Dare and I stick to SAR missions these days.” I grinned faintly and tucked my own gun into the holster at the front of my chest. “But we stay prepared, ’cause you never know.”
He nodded slowly and looked down at the gun in his hands.
His mind had to be racing. I’d been where he was now. It was a painful fucking hell.
A few years ago when I’d been kidnapped by a human trafficking organization, it hadn’t taken long for me to decide I’d never get out alive. For three months, they’d held me in cages, abused me, waterboarded me, given me one meal a day, and…I’d stopped feeling like a person. And that’d happened fairly quickly. A few weeks in, when they’d stopped talking to me, when my name no longer existed, when I was shoved into another windowless van…
Shay had been missing long enough for a lot of trauma to set in.
“You know you can talk to me whenever, buddy.”
He nodded once. “That’s the thing, I guess. I wanna be prepared too.” He cleared his throat and attached his gun to his belt. “The nightmares suck, but they’ve got nothing on the anger. I want to—I want revenge. I wanna make sure this never happens again.”
I released a breath, knowing full well. Unfortunately, he was still in survivor mode. The worst of the trauma hadn’t hit him yet, and it wouldn’t until he got home and was suddenly surrounded by familiarity, peace and quiet, and loved ones. That was when panic and anxiety struck, when he began feeling like he didn’t belong anymore, when he couldn’t relate to the carefree behavior of everyone around him.
“You know what?” I said. “I think you should suggest to River and Reese that y’all come with us after this. Stay with us in Washington for a week or two, and we can talk till our ears bleed, there’s plenty of forest to take your anger out on—we have a shooting range too.”
Something seemed to click—he lost tension in his shoulder, and a pinch of relief seeped into his eyes. “I’d actually really like that. As much as I miss my brothers and aunt, I don’t think I can face them right now. I talked to them on the phone yesterday, and my aunt wants to fuss over me and plan a bunch of fun activities. I almost lashed out.”
Yup, been there. I’d felt suffocated when I’d been surrounded by family and everyday issues. My kid brothers had complained about being out of milk, and I’d wanted to scream at them—there are kids out there who’ve been taken, who are being tortured and sold off as slaves, and you’re angry we’re out of fucking milk?
I hadn’t screamed at them. I’d run away instead.
“Your reaction is completely normal,” I told him. “The good thing is you have River and Reese. Just like I had Darius—theyknowhow to help you rise above this. It’s gonna be painful, and you’ll roller-coaster between anger, despair, grief…all of it. But whatever you do, don’t shut them out.”
He exhaled a laugh, his eyes turning glassy in the dim light from the inside of the car. “I won’t. It’s possible Darius told me about the time you tried to run away from him.”
Yeah… “Thank fuck he chased after me.” I grinned. “I have all the faith you’ll grow even stronger from this hell, Shay. And the bonus? We get to help others who’ve shared our fate.”
“That’s what I really want,” he said. “It blows to stay behind, but I don’t wanna worry River and Reese now.”
“We’re not staying behind. Rescue is an essential part—trust me.” I held up one of the backpacks for him. “Whether it’s only Blake and Marisa or there are others, they’ll need us. You ready for a quick rundown?”
“Yeah—absolutely.”
“Okay, so…” We didn’t have much time, so I opened my bag and got right to it. “Same stuff in your bag. First aid, shock blankets—since we’re rescuing at least one child, I bought a few stuffed animals and Band-Aids for kids. Water, orange juice, energy bars, earplugs—we don’t know how long they’ll be exposed to gunfire, but only use them if it’s safe; it’s hardly a priority—sandwiches for later, some children’s candy, and tools we might need. If you come across someone who’s bleeding heavily, can’t breathe, or is nonverbal, come get me right away.”
