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Chapter 19
Remi
My heart raced in my chest, threatening to leap out as I tried to make sense of the confusing tornado of emotions that swirled around me. The sight of Greyson’s tormented eyes, filled with uncertainty and confusion, had struck a chord deep within my soul. At that moment, I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would always love him — even if he chose to walk away from me forever.
As I stood there, trembling and vulnerable, the memories of my recent confrontation with Ghost flooded back, stirring up a potent cocktail of resentment, longing, and self-doubt. I had known all along that he wasn’t offering me anything beyond a casual hookup, and yet, my heart had still fluttered at the thought of being touched by those skilled hands, wrapped up in the enigma that was Johnny ‘Ghost’ Parker.
The excitement that coursed through me when I was near Ghost mirrored the sparks that flew between Greyson and me, but I couldn’t allow myself to be swept away by it. I had to assert my worth and remind Ghost that I was more than just another conquest to him — because deep down, I knew that losing myself in his embrace would only lead to heartache and ruin.
And then, as if to taunt me further, Ghost had pressed his lips against mine while I knew Greyson watched, undoubtedly shocked and hurt. The kiss had been electric, igniting a fire within me that threatened to consume me whole. But despite the undeniable attraction, I could not forget the cold, cruel truth: Ghost didn’t want anything more from me. He had made that abundantly clear, and the knowledge stung like a thousand needles piercing my heart.
Now, with the remnants of that heated exchange still lingering on my lips and the weight of Greyson’s unspoken decision bearing down on me, I felt like a tangled mess of raw nerves and conflicting desires. My mind raced, grasping for answers and finding only more questions, as I tried to navigate the treacherous waters of my own emotions — and those of the two men who had unwittingly ensnared me in their passionate, complex web.
As I stood there, struggling to make sense of it all, a single tear slipped down my cheek, betraying the fragility that lay beneath my strong, ambitious exterior. And for a brief, fleeting moment, I allowed myself to acknowledge the fear that gripped me: the fear of losing Greyson, of being cast adrift in a sea of uncertainty and unfulfilled desires.
I looked around, emotionally drained, as the room pulsed with the relentless beat of the music. The dimly lit space was suffocating, and I knew I needed to escape before I completely lost myself.
Just when I was about to search for Grey, Larry, my photographer, came over and leaned into my ear to be heard above the music. “I think I’ve got what I need. I’d like to go over everything with you, but I’d like to finish up at the hotel if that’s okay? One of the guys is leaving in a few minutes, so we can catch a ride back with them.”
He’d unwittingly thrown me a lifeline, and I was going to grab onto it. “Of course. Give me five minutes and I’ll come with you,” I replied gratefully, my voice barely audible over the deafening music.
My eyes searched the room for Greyson, finding him sitting on a couch in the VIP area with Trudy. As I approached, he noticed my presence and made room for me to sit next to him.
“Hey, I’m really sorry, but I have to head back to the hotel with Larry to work on something,” I shouted into his ear, trying to make myself heard.
Greyson’s face fell, but he quickly masked his disappointment. “Do you want me to come with you?” he asked, genuine concern etched on his handsome features.
“No, stay and enjoy yourself,” I insisted, forcing a smile. “Sidney and Kaylie are leaving too, so we’ll just catch a ride with them. I’m actually exhausted, so I’m not up for talking about serious matters tonight, anyway. I was hoping we could meet for breakfast tomorrow?”
I could tell he wasn’t happy about it, but he forced a smile.“Alright,” Greyson conceded.
My fingers brushed against his as we shared a brief moment of connection. I hesitated, then asked, “When are you going back to L.A.?”
“Sunday,” he replied without hesitation, his green eyes searching mine for any hint of emotion. “I’m free all day tomorrow, but I have to leave Sunday so I can get back on the set Monday. They rearranged the taping schedule, so I only taped half a day on Friday, so I’ll be swamped this week trying to make it up.”
I searched his face, trying to glimpse a hint of what he was thinking. “Okay. Since you’re free, maybe we can spend some time together tomorrow. Enjoy the city. I’m sure I can figure out how to catch up with the tour bus if I stay here a little longer.”
“That sounds good, Rems.”
Greyson studied my face for a moment, and then finally broached the subject that had been hanging between us all night. “Before you go, I need to know what’s going on between you and Ghost,” he asked, his voice tense.
“Did you see the kiss?” I asked nervously, my heart hammering in my chest.
“Everyone saw it, Remi,” Greyson responded, his jaw clenched.
I sighed, knowing that there was no point in denying it. I’d always planned on telling him, just not like this. “Ghost and I … we’ve gotten close during the tour,” I admitted, my eyes downcast. “It’s not serious. He’s not a relationship type of guy, as I’m sure you can imagine. But it’s given me some insight about some of the things you were trying to tell me before I left.”
“Like what?” Greyson pressed, searching for answers.
“Like how complicated love and attraction can really be. It’s not so cut and dried as I insisted,” I replied, finally meeting his gaze. “But we’ll talk more about it tomorrow, okay?”
“Fine,” Greyson agreed reluctantly, though I could tell the conversation was far from over. “I have some things to tell you, too. As long as we’re honest with each other, Rems, I think we can work through this.”
I was so grateful he said that. It was something I needed to hear, to cling to. I bit down on my lip to keep the tears from spilling. His words gave me just the hope I needed, and I threw my arms around him in an embrace. A small, strangled cry escaped from my lips, muffled by his shoulder. “I want to try,” I said, voice thick with emotion.
He wrapped his arms around me, and the warmth of his body engulfed mine. I melted into him and stayed there for a little longer than necessary. He held me in silence for a few moments, as if he could protect me from the world. Finally, with a deep sigh, he let go.
As I got up to leave, a sudden wave of protectiveness washed over me. “Please, don’t get into a confrontation with Ghost. Just leave him alone. He’s ... fragile right now.”
