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While we waited for the last three people in our group to show up, Chewie made sure everyone had a red solo cup filled with the ‘special’ Hawaiian Punch, and someone loaded up the party bike with coolers and snacks.
We clambered aboard when the last three people arrived. I sat on the far side of the party bike between Bash and a guy they called Qwerty. It took some effort to build up enough inertia to get the pedal-powered contraption moving at a steady clip. I was barely putting any effort into pedaling, and I wondered just how many other cheaters we had on board.
There were individual cup holders at each seat, so everyone had plenty of booze available at all times. The herd was waving to people walking on the sidewalks as we barely passed them, doing about 5 mph and blasting out Uptown Funk from the speakers. It was a little embarrassing at first until I realized that most of the people we passed were waving back and generally reacting positively to the nerds. Bash and I were definitely the quietest ones in the group. I think we were both just trying to acclimate to the situation.
I finished my first drink and Qwerty scrambled to fill me up. He’d been talking my ear off. Bash was talking with the girl next to him, Coco, I think, but I could tell he was keeping tabs on me, too.
We stayed at the first bar for about half an hour before the nerds wanted to get back to the bike. We had plenty of alcohol on board, so they figured why spend too much money at the bars? I thought they just liked riding around the city on the bike, getting attention wherever we went.
The group was getting drunker by the minute. I could tell when everyone screamed out the words to I’ve got Friends in Low Places.
At this point, there was a lively conversation about kinetic energy calculations, calorie burning, and E=mc2. Bash was looking like he’d just landed on another planet.
I stopped pedaling and leaned toward him. “I know a secret about you. In fact, I know something about you that you don’t even know.”
“Oh really? And what is that?” He looked me up and down and then smiled lazily at me.
For a moment, I wondered if I looked absurd. I was wearing my knit beanie, fur-lined gloves, and the ugly yellow T-shirt, but I was buzzed enough to not really care.
“I’m not sure I’ve had enough truth serum yet to tell you,” I teased.
His hand rested low on my back. “I have other ways of making you talk, and I think you should slow it down, Lacey. Whatever is in those drinks is strong.”
I didn’t have time to reply because the party bike was pulling up to the second bar. By the time I made it out of the restroom, Bash was holding a glass of water for me. The small neighborhood bar was packed with people. We wedged ourselves into a corner and watched the activity.
I was tipsy and wanted some attention. I cozied up to Bash, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Kiss me and I’ll tell you the secret.”
He locked lips with me and I was in heaven. I didn’t care that we were in the middle of a crush of bodies. I would happily ditch the bicycle bar and head home with Bash to finish our night with a bang, but I hardly ever saw Sadie anymore.
It took me a few seconds to regroup after his kiss left me dazed. “Mmm. That was nice. I owe you the secret. So, one night Sadie and I got drunk, and she confessed something to me.”
Bash blinked a few times. “I don’t want to hear any of Sadie’s secrets.”
“Well, this one has to do with you.” I poked his chest with my finger. “She told me that even though she told you otherwise, you never had sex with her.”
He cringed. “What?”
I pulled him down so I could speak right into his ear. “It was the night before Kody showed up at your door? She had a big crush on you back then. That night, she followed you into your room, but you were very drunk. You stripped down and passed out right away. You didn’t even know she was there. She was drunk, too. She just climbed into bed with you and then let you think you had sex with her in the morning.”
He looked stunned and maybe a little irritated about being lied to. “So, I never slept with Satan ... uh, I mean, Sadie?”
I shook my head. “No, and by the time the baby shower happened, she was over her crush. Isn’t that funny? I’ve known for years that you didn’t sleep with my cousin.”
“That’s kind of disturbing. Why would she say that? I don’t get it.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“She thought she might have a better shot with you if you already thought you slept together. That it might lead to more, but then Kody showed up, and she lost interest.” I shrugged like that was a good enough explanation.
“That doesn’t even make sense. It’s just weird.”
“Well, she’s weird.” I laughed. “We’re riding around Hollywood on a 16-person bicycle with a herd of nerds, thanks to her.”
We couldn’t discuss it any further because the group was heading out back to the party bike. This time, Ice Ice Baby was booming from the speakers as we pulled away from the curb.
Qwerty was pretty drunk. He was talking too loudly, almost yelling, as he flirted with me. “So, yeah, I built my own custom software to track my cryptocurrency portfolio. Did I mention how big my portfolio is? Larger than the average guys.”
I hoped Bash wasn’t listening to this. “That’s very interesting.”
“You know,” he leaned his elbow on the bar and smiled at me, “my IQ is 148. With my brains and your beauty, we could make a superior baby.”
