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She gasped. “Maryellen is not a whack job.”
“Fuck, Josie. You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” I accused.
“You said you weren’t looking for a model! Maryellen may not be that gorgeous, but she’s got nice titties. Perky!”
I paced around the room, trying to let off steam without yelling. “I wouldn’t know if she had nice tits; I couldn’t see past all the dog hair on her chest.”
“Oh yeah, she loves that dog. Dresses him up in pink tutus and stuff. What’s his name? Nookie?”
I let out a huff of breath. “She was telling me all about her glory days in marching band–”
“See, she likes the music scene. You said that was important to you.”
I ignored her and continued my rant. “And she wouldn’t shut up about her dog’s Instagram page. And watching gorillas mate at the zoo.”
“Aha! She likes sex. That was important to you. I mean, she named her dog Nookie, so that tells you something.”
My teeth were clenched so hard, I was surprised they didn’t crack. “I’m not into gorilla porn. Christ, Josie, you set me up with a complete nutter!”
“So far, you two sound perfectly compatible. The both of you share a love of music and it sounds like sex might be kinky with her. What’s the problem?”
I took a calming breath. “Well, she absolutely freaked out when she found out I had a son.”
Josie paused for a moment. “Huh. I didn’t know that about Maryellen. That’s too bad. “
“Yeah. Too bad.” I sounded like a petulant dick, but I no longer cared. “So, please, for the love of God, cancel the thing you set up for Saturday. I’m done with dating.”
“No can do. Angelique already has your address, and she made dinner reservations. It’s too late to cancel.”
I had to put my foot down. “Look, I refuse to go out with another girl you set me up with. I don’t trust your judgment.”
She wasn’t backing down an inch. “I happen to know Angelique loves kids. She’s beautiful and ‘hot to trot’, as you kids would say.”
“No one says that. Not even old people.”
She ignored me. “So, Angelique loves kids. She loves sex. That meets two of your criteria. And I bet she loves the music scene, too. She’s got piercings. Two that are visible. Maybe you might be able to find some others? Some hidden ones?”
“She’s got piercings,” my tone dripped with sarcasm, “so that means she into the music scene?”
“Exactly!” she agreed. “That means she checks all of your boxes. And she’s way sexier than Maryellen. Trust me.”
I grunted. That wasn’t saying all that much.
“C’mon, Bash. Just go to dinner with her. How bad could it be?”
Chapter 4
Bash
Date #2:
I’d been texting with Angelique for days. She seemed cool, and she’d been a little flirty with her messages, but we hadn’t exchanged photos, so I was still a bit nervous. Josie said she was hot, but ... I didn’t put too much stock in that.
The plan was that she’d pick me up because the restaurant she made reservations at was closer to my place. When the doorbell rang, I was so fucking nervous. I was half expecting a hideous hag to greet me when I opened the door.
I was pleasantly surprised and very relieved at the same time. She was attractive and age-appropriate. Thank God. She had dark hair cut in an edgy bob, a stud on the side of her nose, and a lip piercing. She was dressed in a white blouse with a flouncy, short skirt, and combat boots.
Angelique let out a nervous little laugh. “I was worried, but Josie really undersold you. She said you were a little out of shape, but not too hideous looking. Frankly, I was worried you’d be fat and sweaty, but you’re hot. Is this your house?”
