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He had felt all that simmering rage at Cairo for his weakness. For the lie that he had bought into. For his cowardice.
He was keeping her prisoner. He was no better than Cairo. He was no better than the men who held him captive.
How was he any different? He might not have spilled any blood, but he was failing a woman who loved him. A woman who should not love him.
For he had given her no reason to. He had done nothing but treat her with disrespect. He had done nothing but treat her as if she was a coup.
And somewhere in the darkness, the haze cleared.
And he was fully in the moment. And Brianna’s hands were on him. She was comforting him. She was comforting him as she had done all these times.
And what had he given her?
He had sought to give her pleasure. He had known it would not be enough.
He had sought to give her...
He had not tried very hard.
Normal.
She wanted normal. She had told him exactly what she wanted, and he had not listened.
She had told him that what she wanted was to have that life that she saw on TV. Those family dinners, and what had he given her? Cold meals at a banquet table, and then he had brought her onto his lap and had her right there where anyone could’ve walked in. It was not what he had promised.
And he would release her now. He had to.
He could not see a way to let himself out of this cell, for he could not endure all of this...feeling.
But he did not have to keep her in it as well.
But in that moment, he faltered. In that moment, he reached for the light, because he wished to see her clearly.
She was naked, standing before him unashamed and unafraid. She had given him her body. She had given him some measure of peace.
And he had done what? Grown her character? Tested her strength? She did not deserve that.
“Brianna,” he said. “I want you to go.”
“Riyaz, we’ve been through this. I’m not afraid of you. And I can handle this.”
“I don’t mean out of my room. I mean away from the palace. I want you to go back to New York. Go back to your town house. Sell it. Buy a house in a neighborhood. I told you that your dreams were not enough. But that was wrong. What you want... It matters. I took it from you. Your choice. I will not do that. Not anymore. I cannot do that.”
“Riyaz,” she said. “Didn’t you hear me when I said that I loved you?”
“Yes. But I am not able to receive it. And loving me denies you of the very thing you want most.”
“No,” she said. “It’s just... It’s what I thought I wanted. But I realized something. Normal doesn’t mean anything. What I was missing in my family home was love.” She shook her head. “That’s what I want. I just want love.”
“And I cannot give it to you. Don’t you see? I grew up in a home where there was plenty of love. It didn’t keep her safe. Remember? It doesn’t keep you safe. Beth can still die. RememberLittle Women?”
“This isn’t Civil War?era America. And you aren’t going to get scarlet fever.”
“But it won’t protect you. That’s what I’m telling you. It will not protect you from what might befall you. But that normal life? That will protect you.”
“Tell me why. Tell me why you don’t think you can love me.”
“Aside from the sixteen years spent in a dungeon? Many reasons. But I cannot... it’s my mother’s face I see. Dying. Bleeding. They are not good words for me. And I can’t...” The pain was too much, and the closer he got to her...
