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She snatches the rest of the packet off the desk with a smile and a wink, heading to the bathroom to stash them wherever she needs them, I suppose.
“They’re nothing special,” I call. “You should be able to order more pretty easily.”
“Perfect. You’re fucking amazing.” She grins. “How’s the work coming along?”
“Slowly,” I complain, eyeing the workbooks before giving them my back and slumping down in the chair. “I’ve got that reading to do before we get on our Zoom training later on too.”
“I’ve done it. Let me summarise it for you… drugs are bad, just say no.” She nods.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really. I did the work, is that so hard to imagine?” She flops onto her bed, textbook and highlighter in hand. “I’m not a complete flake, you know?”
“Of course not. It’s just that you’ve been a little preoccupied recently.”
“You say this like it’s a bad thing,” she admonishes. “This year is about more than just getting through the work, Ivy. It’s about finding out who you are, and what you want from life.”
“It’s not about what The Sect want from you then, no?”
“The only thing we’ve beenrequestedto do is the Little Sister programme, and Ruby and the other girls are great. Spending time with them, getting to know them, and supporting them in achieving their goals is not a hardship, it’s a blessing. Just lean into it and enjoy.”
“There’s more to this than picking a boy and mentoring, Tamsin.” I sigh, the breath huffing out like defeat personified. Even after linking herself with Taylor, she doesn’t get it and doesn’t see the danger around every corner. “Masks, robes, secret identities. That’s not normal.”
“So they’re a little extra about it all.” She shrugs. “So what? I think it’s kind of fun. Oh, and think of all the things we’ll be able to do once we’re through this… whatever it is. We can become whatever we want to be.”
“We could do that before,” I grumble, swinging the chair left and right. “We’ve always been able to do and be whatever we wanted.”
I hadn’t realised that she’d been feeling so stuck when we came, but I suppose it makes sense. She’d been off the rails, more than usual. The parties were getting more extreme, and the way she dove into the mixer straight off… well, she’s always been free with her affection, but that was something else.
“Maybe you could,” she says, pointing her pen in my direction, “Some of us have been lined up as nothing more than trophy wife material for a very long time.”
The one thing I’ve been fighting against since the second we turned up in this place.
We might have joked about it over the years, but there’s no way she’d ever settle for that, no way I’d allow her to. She’s too creative, and too thoughtful—it would be a complete waste.
“That’s not going to happen.”
“No, it’s not. Now, I have Taylor by my side, and he’s going on to do great things, and so am I.” She nods.
It hurts my heart to hear that she doesn’t feel like she could do this on her own, or with me. That she thinks I’d really leave her tied to someone she doesn’t care about, just going through the motions of life.She can’t really think that, surely?
“You always were,” I reply, sadness creeping into my tone. “As long as you’re happy, that’s all I want.”
“Same,” she replies, catching my gaze and holding it before changing the subject. “You and Nick looked cosy the other night at the party… are things going better?”
My gaze flicks to my phone, his last message sitting unread.
“Yeah, they’re good.”
Our conversation disappears with the nod of her head, Tamsin going back to her books as I turn back around, attempting to find the information I need for this next piece, but my mind wanders…
It’s not a complete lie, just a minor manipulation of the truth.Isn’t that happening more at the moment?Things are, as always, complicated, and I’m finding myself leaning on Wyatt for explanations and understanding, for friendship. It doesn’t hurt that I know for certain all my messages to Wyatt wind Nick up even further than he already is.
Any time Nick and I are together, either in class or when we’re around other people, is charged and electrified. I know more than well that he wants to stop me, to dictate who and when I talk to other people, the rest of the Devils especially, but I also know he’s holding back from doing so. I guess there’s only so long before it all comes to a head.
I know exactly how crazy a little jealousy can make you feel, just the thought of Penelope alone in a room with them makes more anger surge through my veins than I thought possible, and the strangest thing about it is, I don’t get that way over Jacob being with Leo.
They’ve become more open with their affections since they lost Emmerson. I don’t know if somehow it’s becoming morerealto them both, or if something happened whilst they were in their challenge, neither of them is open to talking about it, but the two of them hover wherever the other is.
