Page 42 of Songs of Vice

Sai blew out a breath and pushed up on his elbow, removing his body from mine. “I explained the zevars channel faes’ power?” I nodded. “Before a fae gets a zevar, their magic is chaotic, even if they have a great deal, it’s like pulling stars from the sky. When it’s tethered to the zevar, it’s like scooping a million stars together and having the light all available instead of reaching so far.”

Wait, was that why my magic was hard to control? Should I have a zevar and a true name? Now that I thought about it, Mother had a discreet necklace she always wore. “Right.”

“It also… dulls physical sensation.” He gave his head a shake, and the dark hair I’d just curled my fingers into swayed. “It makes everything feel less intense, including the chaos of the magic. But…” His eyes darted to mine, and they smoldered with such longing I curled my toes. “With you, I want to feel every drop of the sensations.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks. I reached for him, intending to pull his mouth to mine again, but then something clicked for me. “Wait.” I turned towards the zevar. “You said Prince Lennox stole Prince Shaan’s zevar in an intimate heist.”

Sai’s expression darkened. “I did.”

“Did you mean… were they intimate together and then Prince Lennox stole his zevar?”

“Yes.”

I gasped, horrified. “That’s… that’s terrible.”

Sai clutched the emerald, and it lit up. “Lennox led Shaan along, made him believe he was in love with him. It’s against fae law to steal a being’s zevar. It’s our most sacred rule.”

“Prince Lennox did anyway?”

Sai nodded. His body had tensed and not pleasantly. My mind whirled with the political ramifications of that. It made me feel justified in helping them steal it back. I couldn’t imagine a more vulnerable, embarrassing way to have something stolen. For now, I didn't want to think about the princes. I clutched Sai closer to me and kissed him hard before dragging his lip between my teeth. “Let’s forget about that for tonight. We were more pleasantly occupied.”

He grinned and rolled us over so that his knees pressed into the bed on either side of me. He danced his fingers over my body, teasing around the edges of my breasts, slipping down my waist, and whispering them across my thighs. I whimpered and sat up to seal our lips together again.

He pushed his hands under the long shirt I wore, bunched the extra fabric by my hips, and traced his fingers around my back. I closed my eyes and dropped my head back. His touch was like a song, the purest note pulsing through my body. And I wanted nothing more than for it to run through me and wash the terrible memories away. He peeled the shirt off and then leaned back as his eyes traced over me. “Kali’s powers,” he whispered. “You are a beautiful creature.”

He lowered his mouth and ran his tongue down my skin, sucking and biting so that I raised off the mattress and longed for nothing more than to press my flesh against his and feel the weight of his body on mine.

The bed creaked as he bowed between my legs, and I clenched my hands into the sheets. For a heartbeat, self-consciousness bled through me. I was about to have sex with a fairy possessed with what I’d always been told was dark magic. I unraveled myself for this man I didn’t know. Then again, maybe I did. He was the type of man who held my hand in the rain so I didn’t slip, whose friends listened to him without hesitating, and who had the trust of the Maharani. He was smart, attractive, and held the loyalty of half a dozen people without threatening them or using fear. Even though he looked at me like I might shatter him, he embraced me.

Sai’s tongue flicked out, and every thought in my head washed away like the rain outside the window took them. Thunder boomed, rain hushed, and my moans joined them in an echoing melody through the cabin.

Sai touching me, his skin bare against mine, and the energy pulsing through me was something I’d never experienced before. It was an avalanche. A typhoon. It could destroy. It could make me lose myself until I became someone else altogether.

When he had me undone for the third time, I rose to push him down until he lay on his back. His eyes gleamed, and I grazed my fingers over the rise and fall of his muscles, down the strip of hair that led to his pants, brushed my fingers beneath the waistband, and traced lower and lower until I hit the jut of his hips. I removed my hand, and he groaned like he had with the Bakarwadi before I peeled the pants off him.

I reached out and touched the hard length of him, brought my mouth to his, and kissed him. He gripped his fingers into my hair so tight it nearly hurt, and God, did I want more. I wanted this to never end. To taste myself on his mouth and feel the warmth of him beneath me until this cruel world shattered.

He groaned again, then his lips slipped away from mine as his head fell against the bed. His face scrunched, and I released him to straddle his lap and slowly slide our bodies together. He whimpered and sat up, holding me in his lap and kissing my neck again. His free hand wandered down my stomach, and with a few expert touches he had me falling apart again, shattering. I cried out—notes of pleasure. Frost crawled along the walls, and the fire flared and crackled.

I needed to get control of my magic. I needed to… Sai rolled us and plunged deep within me. I released another whimper of a song. Stars sparkled across the roof of the ceiling—balls of light that brightened with each pulse of pleasure that rippled through me. “Sai.” I breathed his name.

He moaned against my skin and came undone, his body merging with mine as he groaned his release. Sai bowed his head against my shoulder. The lights above faded as my heart slowed.

God, for a moment I’d lost myself. During sex, I had never vocally expressed pleasure. I knew the risk in that, yet here with Sai I felt unable to control myself. I hadn’t hurt Sai, though, or the cabin in any meaningful way despite the water dripping from the melting ice on the walls. Here, with this man’s confident touch, his sure gaze, and encouragement he spoke like magic, I could come undone and hold myself together at the same time. I felt like a character in the books I loved to read. Not the trembling siren or the pretending-to-be-human Lira, but fully myself in a way I never had.

I pulled away first, found his pants and offered them to him. “We should probably get some sleep, if we have to be up before sunrise.”

He stared at me like the words made little sense, as if he saw down to my soul and it surprised him what he found there. He accepted the clothing and dressed again as I pulled on the long shirt he’d given me. I lay down, and Sai rolled over, wrapped his arm around my waist, and fell asleep within a breath.

I remained awake, staring at the beams of the ceiling as night slowly bled away.

Something had changed between us and within me.

I thought I was running to something… a new life where I didn’t have to harm others. Maybe fate had other plans. Of all the men in the crowd I could have chosen, I’d picked Sai. This man who looked into my darkness and saw light, who had a purpose bigger than himself. Perhaps this was where I was supposed to be. When this job was done, if I did well enough, I could ask him if I could stay with his team… and with him.

I could get a zevar and learn my magic and be helpful.

Maybe I could even fall in love.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com