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I stood, gave my suit I still hadn’t changed out of a shake to dislodge wrinkles, and walked over to the door before unlatching it. “You may come in.”
She stepped through the doorway, hesitating in the darkness before fumbling for a lamp. The peachy light danced, emphasizing the disaster of my room and Aila gaped as she skimmed over it until her eyes reached me, then she sucked in a sharper breath. “Lennox, are you all right?”
It was rare for her to use my name without a title since I’d hit adulthood. I shifted around to the mirror. A man with too-sharp cheekbones, chalky skin, and dark hollows under his eyes stared back at me. Shit. My glamour had slipped, and I hadn’t even felt it. I pressed into the magic, grasping at the sparks of it to push the golden prince back in place.
I gestured to a set of chairs. Aila took one but her eyes didn’t leave me. “I knew you were heartsick after returning from your trip a few months ago.” As I took the other chair, I winced and turned away from her. “I didn’t know how much you used your glamour to hide it.”
“You know I must hide everything.” Tears stung at my eyes, and I batted them away. “My father…”
“We’ll get this room cleaned up quietly. I’ll make sure the King doesn’t hear of it.” She didn’t even ask how the room had gotten torn apart. Did she assume I was in such a dark place that I would do this? Perhaps it wasn’t an unreasonable assumption.
My nose flared as I swallowed back more tears and attempted to soothe the flaring magic that brought heat to my skin and caused droplets of sweat to glide down my backbone.
“Then after that, you’re going to eat a good meal with me,” she said.
“I’ll eat downstairs.”
“No.”
I lifted my face. That wasn’t a word I heard often. “No?”
“I understand you’re my prince, my future king, and an adult no longer under my charge.” She reached a wrinkled hand out and clasped one of mine. “You clearly aren’t taking care of yourself, though. I won’t sit here and let you drown in misery like this. If I’d known…” She skimmed over my face like the unglamoured version of me might appear again. “I wouldn’t have remained quiet as long as I have.” Her tone shifted, a delicacy entering it, and she curled her fingers tighter around mine. “Is this about your father or mostly over Prince Shaan?”
Heat pooled over my cheeks, and I turned towards the shadowed part of the room.
She stroked her thumb over the back of my hand. “It would make me happy to see you happy, Lennox.”
I gave a bitter chuckle. “I’m afraid that is not a realistic aim.”
“Is it not? Your mother wished that for you.” Her voice turned sad. “She… Well, perhaps it’s best if I don’t dredge up hard memories.”
I leaned on the back of the chair, letting my head rest against the wall. Exhaustion weighed on me, and while glamour may add a healthy glow to my skin and wipe away the dark smudges under my eyes, it couldn’t make up for the lack of sleep. “I’m an adult, Aila. I believe we can have frank conversations.”
She pinched her lips and removed her hand from mine to readjust her headscarf. “Well, her marriage had difficulties. With you, though, she was so happy. You brought her joy, and I know she wouldn’t want to see you like this.”
“Yes, she was so delighted with me, she was desperate to have another to the point that she willingly used dark magic that took her life.”
“No.” Aila gripped my arm as she blew the word out like a scolding. “Not at all. She loved motherhood and you so very much, she wished to have another. She wanted a sibling for you. Despite how it’s all turned out, I was happy for her. I hadn’t seen my sweet Margaret radiant with joy like that since she was a young girl herself. And I know,”—she gave my arm a shake to emphasize her point—“she’d want you to pursue that which brought you joy as well.”
“If Mother’s story has taught me anything, it’s that pursuing happiness is dangerous since it caused her death. Besides, how could I do that? My entire life is a lie.”
Her expression tensed so that the wrinkles around her eyes pressed together. “Then perhaps it’s time to start living your truth.”
A knock at the door startled both of us, and I rose to answer it. A guard bowed. “The King requests your presence, Your Highness.”
“Thank you. Is he in the throne room?”
“He is.”
“Very good, I’ll join him in a few minutes.”
The guard bowed and tromped down the hall. I clicked the door in place. Aila had risen, and she gave me a long look.
“I should get dressed,” I said.
She sighed and pulled me into a hug. It had been over a decade since she’d embraced me like a child needing comfort. I leaned against her for a moment. Here I was a young man resting on the support of an old woman who shouldn’t be looking after me any longer. I pulled back. “Go on, now,” she said. “Change. I’ll find some discreet serfs to clean up in here and afterwards I want you to eat with me.”
“Yes, Aila.” I stepped towards my washroom and froze. “There’s a picture… on my side table, and…”
