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Nothing was as it had seemed, though.
Perhaps it’s time to start living your truth.Aila’s words echoed back to me, and my stance firmed up. I didn’t turn around, but my voice came steadier than I expected. “I lied to you about how I got Prince Shaan’s zevar.”
No answer came, but I knew Father heard me. I swallowed before I turned to face him where he watched me with a clenched jaw. “I love him.” The words echoed around the space which sat stark and empty, lined with meaningless artwork from forefathers who wouldn’t have accepted me and who I’d spent far too long trying to live up to. “That’s how I manipulated him and stole it. I fell in love with him—I’mstillin love with him—and that’s why he felt safe enough to remove it.”
Father sneered. “A lot of good it did you since you couldn’t hold on to it. Leave my presence.”
I stared at him for another moment before retreating and letting the doors thud shut behind me. No one stood in the hall, and I leaned against the stone wall, felt the cold against the nape of my neck and let tears fall down my cheeks.
It hurt to have no one to turn to as everything I’d spent my life fighting for amounted to nothing. The only truth I’d ever known I’d thrown away with both hands.
I possessed a dark side to my soul. It was a part of me I kept wrapped under glamours and bright smiles and perfectly phrased responses. Every Seelie in the fucking realm saw what I wanted them to see. A confident, handsome prince soon to inherit his father’s throne.
They saw a lie.
Shaan had seen the truth when our time had ended, and the heartache of leaving him weighed on me. I hadn’t been able to keep the heaviness down. It hadn’t turned him away or disgusted him as it did with Father. He was comfortable with my imperfections.
I’d given that away for a lie.
If Father got Lira back and she accepted the magic…
I jolted up straight at the thought.
If that happened, I could be with Shaan. God knew if he’d ever forgive me, but I’d pay my soul to find out. If Lira would accept the Seelie mantel, she could take my place. I’d always been an excellent judge of characters, and I knew Lira wouldn’t succumb to Father’s hatred. She cared about others. She’d been polite to every serf, charming to the guests, and had visited someone in the jail who’d treated her kindly. Lira would look out for the Seelie if she’d accept the role. Yes, it would take a few years of training, and I wouldn’t abandon her. But if she was willing, I could train her. Then I could leave.
Oh God.
A lightheadedness overtook me as I stumbled forward a few steps. I had to find Lira.
CHAPTERSIX
LIRA
The new magicwhirled through me, leaving me dizzy and breathless. Or maybe it was my plunge into the Prasanna world causing that reaction. I’d never seen somewhere more beautiful than Sai’s palace, and I’d never witnessed magic used as freely as it was there.
Servants glittered their powers out as they cleaned tiles—pausing to bow before Sai’s older sister, Amyra, as she’d led me through the halls. Amyra used magic to open Sai’s door then again to push light away from the windows and ease the glare.
“Do you have Froh magic too?” Luz had explained the four fairy courts to me, and how they each had magic that was most natural to them. The Froh controlled light and darkness. Sai had inherited the latter from a grandparent.
Amyra chuckled, and the bracelets on her wrist clattered. “Oh, no. That’s Sai’s gift alone. All fairies can tap into the different types of powers if they have enough magic, it just takes a lot out of them.”
“That was kind of you.” I gestured to the windows.
“It’s my pleasure.” She bowed and pressed her hands together. “I hope we can be friends. I’m curious about who managed to get Sai to commit.”
Not me,I wanted to say, but I let the comment pass.
“I’ll let you rest. The bathing chamber is to your left, and Father has ordered hot water for a bath.”
“Thank you.”
She bowed again and left the room, pulling the door behind her.
Which left me alone in Sai’s bedroom. It suited him, which was a strange thing for me to think since I didn’t know him well. Aside from the intricately carved shape of the windows and the detailed wood cuttings on the headboard, the rest of the room had a demure quality.
A simple wood closet sat against the far wall, charcoal sketches of the sea hanging to the right of it. In the top picture, a ship bobbed on the horizon, its sails rippling in a breeze. On one of the bedside tables, Sai had left a stack of books. I was curious to see what he read in his free time, but I’d already encroached on his life. If that was his side of the bed, that meant the other…
I crossed my arms. Were we stuck having to sleep together? God, what a nightmare. I brushed my fingers over my filthy sleeve and continued taking in other details of the space to avoid thinking anymore about that. A tablet lay on a desk covered with intricate writing I couldn’t read. Beneath the desk, a rug woven of multiple muted colors stretched along the floor.
