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He stalled for another moment before crossing and giving a flick of his tail as we reached the woods on the other side, then we bounded out into the human realm. By the time we made it to the Naga’s waters, I dragged a hand down my face to help me stay awake. I hadn’t slept well in months, but since the gala I’d scarcely rested at all.
I jumped down and released the kelpie to drink as my feet sloshed against the banks. I pulled out one of Aila’s bundles of food and lowered it onto the ground.
The water rippled in the light of the waning moon. The Naga rose from the river and cocked his head to the side, his dark braids sliding over his tattooed form. When he grinned, his ivory teeth glistened like a predator’s. “Lennox of the Seelie. It’s been more than twenty years since I’ve seen you.”
I bowed. Seelie only went to the Naga to receive their zevars and have a true name fixed to their magic. We didn’t bargain with him like other fairies did. “You’ll see I’ve brought an offering of food.”
The Naga’s eyes darted to it, but he didn’t reach for it. “What I know of your father, I doubt he’d approve of this visit.”
I licked my lips and wiped my sweaty palms on my jacket. “He didn’t. I came of my volition.”
“Did whoever informed you to bring an offering,”—he gestured to the sack—“tell you the cost of an audience with me.”
“Yes. You feed on fear.”
He unwound the lower snake half of his body and moved closer to me, the dark slit of his pupils growing. “Not just fear, fairy, but also guilt, shame, embarrassment. You wouldn’t know about those emotions, would you?”
I swallowed. He had to be glad to have me here, then. Those made up most of my emotional life especially since I’d betrayed Shaan, and I imagined my misery would feed the Naga’s powers well. This was why we advised the Seelie to stay away from the Naga. He made grand promises, but it came at a cost. “Are you proud of that? Exploiting others?”
He chuckled and retreated towards the water. “I exploit no one. My terms are always clear, and I only accept offerings if they’re given.” He cocked an eyebrow like he waited for my answer.
It wasn’t like I had a choice. I had to get into Prasanna territory to protect my people and attempt to stall this clash. The only way I could do so without getting detained or stopped at the gate was with his help. He could provide a stone that would swallow down my magic trace and allow me to move undetected into the city.
“Yes.”
He laughed and snatched up the bag of treats.
The river at night disappeared and instead I stood in a cottage with exposed timbers, a crackling fireplace in the corner, and spicy smells filling the air. A crash of waves echoed in the distance.
No.
Not here.
I could almost see Shaan walking out of the bedroom, his hair mussed, a palette of paints in his hand.You hungry, Lennox?
Grief crashed through me like a deluge breaking through a dam. I’d loved Shaan as if he was magic itself. Since I’d left, I hadn’t slept without dreaming of him. I hadn’t spent one day not paralyzed in grief over the choices I’d made. Now I stood in the place where I’d fallen for him. This was the only spot in the world I’d ever felt fully accepted and loved. I was a Seelie bastard as much as my father. Shaan had always seen me as better than reality.
The Naga appeared in a shadowed corner and popped a caramel cake into his mouth. He chewed and his eyebrows rose. “Oh, this isn’t terrible. I believe the fairies who work at the palace have brought me poor offerings indeed.”
The Naga was the only creature that could override any fae’s power with his dark magic. “Palace staff have negotiated with you? Who would betray us like that?”
He wagged a finger at me. “Ah, ah. A good lover shouldn’t kiss and tell, should he? Then again, a good lover wouldn’t steal a zevar and disappear into the night.”
I cringed and shifted towards Shaan’s bedroom door again. I imagined it opening. Instead of Shaan smiling this time, his brows would pull together in panic as he realized I’d gone, that I’d stolen from him, abused him. I’d played the scene out in my mind hundreds of times, but I’d never stood in the room of the crime while I did so. I could feel Shaan’s rough fingers run down my back, the gentleness of his kiss stinging my lips. My next breath came shaky.
“I wished to ask you for a gemstone that would allow me to pass into the Prasanna territory without detection.”
The Naga had a biscuit halfway to his mouth, and he paused. “Why would I grant such a request?”
“Will you tell me you had no hand in helping Prince Sai invade the Seelie palace?”
The Naga grinned, and he snatched the bite into his mouth before settling his serpentine body over the rug Shaan and I had made love on. I remembered the way Shaan looked at me, like he wanted me to know it was okay, that I would be okay. Shaan was heaven—perfect, patient, and kind. I was hell and the retribution that came with it. I cringed and took a step back.
The Naga’s grin widened. “I like Sai.”
“Does one have to be likable for you to help?”
If he preferred beings like Sai, this was hopeless before it began, and I was enduring standing in this cottage with the memories flooding back through me for nothing.
