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“You think you’re going to let me lie here and fall asleep, but that’s not what’s going to happen tonight.” She rolled on top of me. “Not until I have you cursing my name first.”
She began kissing a trail down my body, letting her tongue dash out on particularly sensitive spots. She may not be a siren, but she compelled my body like she possessed a symphony of magic. I whirled a strand of her hair around my finger and kicked my head back. Fuck. I wouldn’t argue.
Sometime later Elisa lay sleeping next to me, her breathing like the tide I centered myself around. I traced my fingers over her hair and kissed her shoulder. She shifted. I should leave her alone and stop being so restless before my fidgeting woke her.
I couldn’t help but feel the conversation we always danced around—the job, the fact that I was human—was something we should address more clearly. Words evaded me, though. I wanted to finish our commitment, gather all the heart stones, and become a fae. I longed for a lifetime together of making her laugh and moan, dancing with her under starlight, and tripping over her strewn treasures.
As much as that, I wished to help Sai. He was practically a brother to me. His hurt around Lira ached through me like a phantom pain. I’d never seen him behave around another as he did with her, and in the five years I’d known him, he’d filtered through more than a few bed mates. They were all one-night experiences or a handful of hookups with a handsome face. It was never serious… before.
I sighed and dropped against the mattress.
Elisa groaned and curled in tighter. I pulled the blanket more snugly around her shoulders, slipped off the bed, and dressed before carefully crossing the room and stepping back out into the courtyard.
Dark clouds rolled across the moon like a huntress chasing prey.
Monsoon season would arrive soon.
We’d tangle ourselves into another dangerous job.
I only hoped we lived to see the rains shift away and the sun come out once more.
The echoing sound of sobs paused my steps. Lira sat on the edge of a fountain, her knees curled up and her face pressed against them. She wore a dark robe of Sai’s, the fabric bunching around her shoulders in rolls. I took a step back, but she lifted her face. “Oh.” She swiped her hands over her cheeks. “I didn’t know anyone was out here.”
Well, no avoiding her now. I stepped over and lowered beside her. “I couldn’t sleep.”
She rubbed her puffy face. “Me either.”
As much as my loyalty lay with Sai, I could empathize with Lira. I knew what it was like to survive alone, to be forced into choosing between multiple poor options and using others to survive. I understood the anxiety of leaving one reality—regardless of how shit it was—and stepping into a new one.
“This must be a lot for you. Your whole life has been tossed.”
“It’s not that.” She sniffled and uncurled her legs, letting them drape over the side so that her toes pressed against the pavers. “I’d tossed my life, anyway. It’s… Sai. He shouldn’t have had to marry me. I feel guilty about that. And yet, I’m furious with him. Sorry, I know you’re friends. I probably shouldn’t share.”
“Sometimes it helps to share.” She bobbed her head but offered nothing else. “I’ve known Sai for a while. If he didn’t want to do something, he wouldn’t. I don’t think you need to feel guilty about the vows he made. He’s a stubborn ass”—Lira gave a hiccup of a laugh, and I gentled my voice—“but not a bad guy.”
Lira pulled the robe tighter around her neck. “I’m sure you think I should just forgive him and try to move on. He was thinking about the group with his actions at the Seelie palace and I was a liability.”
“I didn’t come out here to tell you what to do. I came out because I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake Elisa.” Lira gave me a smile at Elisa’s name. I thought of Sai earlier, bowing away from the group, slipping into his shadows as he always did. Usually he’d open up to me, though. He deserved to have someone who treasured him as much as I did Elisa. I lifted my feet and hugged my knees to my chest. “Do you think you could give Sai another chance? Normally I wouldn’t get involved in other’s affairs, but I’ve never seen Sai like this before, and I fear you’ve only witnessed his worst. He’s a good man.”
“I think I love the idea of Sai.” She sniffled again and lifted her face towards the palace walls and the flowering vines that clambered along them. “Coming here, meeting his family… I think I could fall in love with this. That probably sounds horrible to say.”
“It doesn’t… not to me, at least. Moving here was the first time in my life I’d ever felt at home.”
“Are you not Prasanna? Or did you come from somewhere in the country? Luz made me believe it’s a large region.”
“It is, but…” I bit my lip. “I’m human.”
Lira’s eyes widened. “You are?”
“Yes. I’m from a country east of here. Sai pulled me out of the cruel belly of a city that probably would have killed me if I’m honest. I’m Prasanna at heart, though. I love these people and Sai’s family. They have a way of absorbing you and making you feel you belong.”
“That seems to be true.”
I nodded. “Anyway, Sai likely saved my life—though he’d deny that—and we’ve seen each other through a great deal in the last five years. That’s why I’m willing to dip into something that isn’t my business. I love Sai, like family.”
Lira pinched her eyes closed. “Sai seems to be good to many. But I’m not sure I could trust him again. I don’t know, honestly. I haven’t even seen him tonight. He didn’t return to his room, and I don’t know what to do with myself in this strange place.”
My heart ached for Sai, but it wasn’t my place to push Lira. She was an individual too and had to make the right choice for herself. Plus, she was right. This entire world was new to her and Sai—damn him—was clearly not helping her navigate it. “I understand. Like I said, I didn’t come out here to do anything. If you need help finding anything in the palace, I can direct you. Sai’s family and court are very welcoming. If you ask anyone, they’d be understanding.”
