AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m so sorry, Maharani, but she’s gone.”
“Oh no.”
A whimper built in my chest, matching the despair flooding through the Maharani’s memories.
A guard stepped forward, his uniform pristine, his stance tall, but his expression was haunted. “Shall we attempt to cover this up, Maharani? I can gather some of the guard and—”
“No.” The Maharani’s chest heaved, and I could feel the anxiety coursing through her, the moment of indecision, then the resolution that settled in her as firm as stone. “Queen Carrington.” She swallowed. “Margaret wouldn’t deserve such. Think of her son if she were to just disappear.” The tinge of the Maharani’s grief—her imagining the same happening to her children, to Amyra, to Sai, to Shaan… It was too much to bear, and her next breath came trembling.
“Forgive me, Maharani.” The guard bowed, his face tucking into the shadows. “Will it not implicate us if the Seelie discover their queen died at the hands of our magic?”
A beat of time passed, and I could sense the emotions that raged through the Maharani, worry for the future, sorrow—her father had recently died and she wished she could turn to him for help—fear of my father, and sadness for Mother. The tinge of it was intimate. Mother and the Maharani weren’t just acquaintances but friends. The Maharani lifted her chin. “We’ll send her back with the honor of a fallen queen and pray to the goddess it does not cost our court their lives.”
The memory faded but the lingering horror and devastation seemed to cling to me. A tear rolled down my cheek. I’d completely lost my composure or my sense of political prowess. I felt like a child, desperately wanting his mother as much as the Maharani had longed for her father.
The Maharani unfolded a piece of silk, wrapped the globe in it, and gestured to a guard who accepted the item and left the room. She took a step away from me and her eyes were glassy, her voice steady but thick with emotion. “I’m incredibly sorry for your loss,” she whispered. “You mother was a lovely being.”
My nose flared, and I tried desperately to blink back tears, but I hadn’t eaten or slept. I’d replayed some of the most personal, brutal memories of my life before an audience, and I’d stood here as the only man I could ever imagine loving had rejected me. And it was fucking hard. “She was.”
The Maharani cleared her throat and something about her posture and tone made me feel she spoke to me as Margaret’s son more than the Seelie Prince. “Are you only here for Lira?”
I wiped tears away with my thumbs. “Pardon me?”
“Was there any other purpose”—she said the words delicately and gave me a look—“for your visit?”
Father’s wrinkled nose flashed across my memories, but Aila gently laying a hand on my arm came to me as well.Perhaps it’s time to live your truth.Unless that memory was a massive use of glamour magic—which I doubted, I was pretty sure even the Maharani couldn’t pull something that elaborate—then the globe had revealed something to me I hadn’t known. The Maharani was friends with my mother. They wanted to forge a different future.
I didn’t know the details, but I knew Shaan’s mother accepted his sexuality, and she knew about my betrayal. She didn’t look at me with disgust, though, more with a mix of curiosity and distrust. “As I’ve already shattered any sense of decorum, Maharani, I suppose it may be for the best to speak honestly.” I raised my face, and she gave me a gentle nod, the kind a mother used to coax misdeeds from her children. “I came here for Lira, however, I’d also wanted to apologize to Prince Shaan, and I’d hoped…”
I couldn’t think of what to add.
Hoped that he’d forgive me after I’d fucked him over? Not likely. I didn’t know why I ever imagined that happening. I suppose I was lovesick and had imagined he felt the same for me. But he did not.
The Maharani took a long, decisive breath and pressed her hands together, her bracelets clattering. “I see. Please stay with us as a guest until Lira returns. She shouldn’t be gone longer than a few days. Perhaps we can attempt to speak of matters more once she’s back.”
I bowed. “Thank you, Maharani, I will take you up on that generous offer.” After all, I needed Lira as much as ever—my personal feelings be damned.
“Note, however, that we’ve warded your suite and you will be under guard here.”
“Of course.” I didn’t know where she thought I might try to go, anyway. The only being I wished to see in this palace wanted nothing to do with me. A guard approached, and I followed him out of the throne room. As we walked through the palace, my eyes kept darting around the halls, seeking Shaan. It was like I could feel his presence within these walls, a warm energy that called out to me. I swallowed and shoved feelings down hard as we took another turn.
CHAPTERSEVENTEEN
LIRA
Water rushed downthe side of the temple’s walls, splashing into a pool that lined the hall. Mildew crawled along the stone and moss-covered ledges. The room sat in musty shadows, the stale smell of the water filling everything and infusing the air with moisture.
With my next step, my head ached and vision blurred like it had when I’d tried to use my magic against the merfolk. I shivered at that. For someone who’d not grown up around magic, the merfolk terrified me. I’d once thought sirens were evil, but I was starting to believe my scope to judge by was limited.
During the attack, I’d stumbled, but Sai caught me.
I peeked out the side of my eyes at him. He kept his focus ahead of us, his dark hair still gleaming from when he’d dived in to help Neia save Elisa. My heart skipped a beat when he did that. For a moment I’d imagined him gone forever, lost to the sea and dark magic.
Something about that made me want to scream, drown with him, curse the world if it took him from me.
Then he’d walked through those temple doors. I’d wondered how I might feel if he couldn’t make it through the barrier. Then he stepped through and stared at me like he’d found a ghost inside. I was his Atalla. It seemed neither of us knew what to do with that information. I, for one, didn’t know what it meant exactly but the way the group had appraised us when we emerged left a bad feeling quelling in my stomach. The same people who had shrugged off our marriage vows stared at us as if we’d entered heaven and not some decrepit ruin together.
Jessamine had scowled, though. The memory of her handsy nature with Sai caused magic to sweep through my chest and whirl down my arms which made me dizzy again and I stumbled. Sai shifted towards me, like he was attuned to me, and reached out like he’d steady me, but I regained my footing and stepped over a broken stone on the floor.
