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“Your Highness, I’m so sorry.” She bowed, her headscarf falling askew and revealing wisps of sandy hair. “It was the devil of the Unseelie and his team. I… I tried to stop ‘em. I tried to tell ‘em…”
I placed a hand on her trembling shoulder. “It’s all right. I’m glad they didn’t hurt you.”
Tears filled her eyes, and it was a reminder of why I made the choices I had. The Seelie were not all fairies like my father. Many of them—maybe even the majority—were just average beings, like this human girl, attempting to care for their families, work their jobs, and stay out of the line of Father’s wrathful crusade against magic. That was an inclination I understood too well. The serf nodded. “Yer Father, I’ll apologize and accept any punishment…”
“No.” I spoke too sharply, and the girl hunched down. Gentling my voice, I continued, “The King doesn’t need to know of this. You can keep it quiet, can’t you?” No good would come of him finding out. At best, it would anger him more. More likely, he’d see it as yet another shortcoming of mine.
“Y-yes, Your Highness. I can.”
“Good. It’s late and you’re probably sore from being tied up all night. Get some rest and take tomorrow off.”
“But…”
I waved a hand. “If anyone asks, it’s on my direct order.”
“It’s very kind of ye, Your Highness.”
I inclined my head and gestured to the door. She sniffled again and offered an awkward bob before retreating. I whirled around, uncertain where to start. Fatigue weighed me down like my feet were pinned to the floor, and I struggled to find a point to start digging through the destruction. Exhaustion had been my endless companion since I’d left Shaan. Every moment of the day felt so tiring, and my bed always seemed to call for me. Life in the last months had felt unbearably heavy.
I shuffled through the strewn fabric, feathers whirling around with the motion. I slid my fingers into my pocket, grabbing the keys for my safe. When I pulled the armoire door back, I froze. The safe was already open and empty.
This was how Shaan probably felt when he woke and found his zevar missing.
Found me missing.
The night I’d taken it, we’d made love like our spirits had joined, then he’d fallen into a peaceful sleep, his long, dark lashes curving against his cheeks. I wanted nothing more than to stay with him there forever. As much as I wished for it, I didn’t have the luxury of that choice. I was the only fucking heir to the Seelie and our damned awful heritage. That legacy could only change, however, if someone stopped it. I needed that zevar so my father would respect me and give me the chance to take the reins of the kingdom and his magic. However, now it was gone, along with any scrap of hope I had for change. Desperation bubbled in me. My plans were so delicate, like a spiderweb carefully strung out between trees. Sai had smashed them all in one fell swoop.
I slid my hand over the cool, smooth metal of the safe. I was glad Shaan would have the zevar back, at least. Since taking it, I’d hated myself. He rarely used magic, and I’d convinced myself it wouldn’t hurt him not to have it. Yes, it was also one of his family’s heart stones, but that was why I had to take it. If the Prasanna gathered and reunited all their heart stones, they would use the power of it against the Seelie. I needed to buy time so I could try to change course for both of our peoples before it led to a war that would destroy us all.
I dropped to my knees and rifled through the piles of silks. Mother’s bracelets lay scattered on the floor. Some had scratches over the delicate gold, and I brushed my thumb over one as tears stung my eyes. Lifting another pile of fabric revealed more jewels, and a crumpled ball of paper.
I snagged the sheet and smoothed it out. Smudges marred the portrait now, wrinkles in the paper marring my eyes and blurred charcoal smearing my smile. I remembered seeing it for the first time.
May I?
Shaan, a paintbrush in hand, his kurta sleeves rolled up as rain poured outside, nodded.Of course.
I lifted the page.It’s me?
Do you think it a poor likeness?
I’d stared at the sureness of the smile, the carefree expression. It looked like me, but me happy, me at peace, me… falling in love. I smoothed my thumb over the paper.I didn’t know I looked like that here.
Shaan’s dark eyes sparkled when he met my gaze. He smirked as he slowly took me in, and my heart pulsed in my throat. He was so distracted, he didn’t notice the paint on his brush was about to drip.
I shook my head to push the memories back and smoothed out a corner of the page that had furled. When Father had asked me to spend six weeks with the Maharani’s son, I’d balked. I didn’t know I’d leave my heart there. I didn’t realize I’d ruin everything with a few miserable decisions. And, in the end, it would all be for no damn purpose.
I stumbled back against the wall, clutched the picture to my chest, bowed my head against my knees, and wept.
CHAPTERTHREE
SAI
After an awkward nightof travel in which Lira shared a tent with Luz rather than me, we approached the Prasanna city walls. The ivory of them stretched proud and elegant against the marmalade glow of sunrise as grebes flew towards lakes in the distance.
My emotions were wrecked. A month ago, I might have said I’d never marry. After meeting Lira, that inclination had changed for me. Not that I was ready after only knowing her a few weeks. But she held a spark of interest for me in a way no other being had.
An idea lingered in my mind, clinging like fog after a storm, whirling through the eddies of my thoughts.Atalla. I’d always scoffed at the idea of a magical other half, but Mother had sworn all fairies with potent magic had one. She’d vowed I’d one day find that being, and it would change me irrevocably. I stole a peek at Lira who pointedly looked everywhere but me; her gaze darted across our group then shifted to follow the line of the wall.
