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Of the handful I’d known about in the five years of our friendship, he had made a passing comment or two but nothing more. He shared his first time with me once. Both of our first experiences were with men. Only one of us had lived to regret that. Then he and Luz had their whole thing. I’d worried that might make the group awkward, but they both shrugged it off as a pleasant but solitary experience and moved on like nothing happened. That’s how Sai had always approached sex. It was fun, but nothing serious. Until he met Lira.
The ache in my stomach grew. “Should we abandon this?”
Luz pinched their lips. “She’s telling the truth about the heart stones. There’s two of them wherever she’s leading us.”
“You’re worried about the details.”
Luz bobbed their head.
Jessamine had reached the other side of the beach. More fog shrouded it, curled around the palm trees, and tucked along massive caves. Jessamine waited until we caught up, before whispering, “This is it.”
“Where is this?” Luz asked, their voice sharp.
Jessamine looked over her shoulder, and her cheeks gained color. “It’s Rakshasa territory.”
“Fuck.” Luz crossed their arms.
Well, there was the source of discomfort.
“What are rick-shaw-whatevers?” Orman asked.
Elisa spoke without trembling for the first time since the merfolk attack. “Wild fae who protect the waters and survive on fairy flesh.”
Orman grinned. “It’s a good day to be an elf.”
“They aren’t actually that picky,” Jessamine said.
“Damn.”
I scraped my boot through the sand. “So, they have the heart stones?”
Jessamine nodded.
“How do we get them?” I asked.
“The problem is…” Jessamine released a breath. The action pursed her lips and seemed to let her confidence ripple out. “The stones are in their nest.”
“Fuck,” Luz said again. Apparently that word was all they had to offer.
“How do you know this?” I asked. Luz’s suspicion over Jessamine and the woman’s all-too-convenient well of knowledge was swirling with my own concern.
A wave lapped against the shore, and Jessamine stepped aside to avoid the water reaching her boots. “They caught me a few months back. I barely escaped… but I did.” Her voice grew fierce at the end.
“Maybe we should wait for Sai,” I said. “His magic would be useful.” And his ability to make decisions would be useful too. I wasn’t a fae. Somehow that had never bothered me before. I’d never hesitated to jump in as Sai’s second, lead members of the group when he was elsewhere. Now the weight of everything had doubled. Elisa was unhappy and worried about our future due to this dangerous career path. If something happened, I’d steal her happiness from her by my choice.
Elisa curled her fingers around my arm. My sleeve still clung to me from when I’d dived in after her, and it made her touch feel intimate. “We shouldn’t waste time,” she said. “The monsoons threaten, and this entire area can flood.” Her emerald eyes lightened. Staring at her, I swallowed hard. I couldn’t lose this woman. She had somehow kept the confidence the merfolk attack had sloughed off me. “We should go, retrieve the heart stones and meet Sai and Lira when we’re finished.”
Her voice held a certainty I didn’t feel.
The rest of the group waited for my decision.
I met Luz’s eyes, and they gave me a subtle nod.
I turned towards Jessamine who tucked into the fog like some sort of ghost. Everything in me screamed to back out. Elisa ducked her chin. She wanted us to finish the task.
Fuck.
I could never tell her no.
