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“Of course. We can put this behind us now.”
He lifted his face, and his eyes shimmered. There was so much neither of us were saying, things we hadn’t found words for despite the months that had passed. This whole damn betrayal of Lennox’s had broken some part of Shaan and damaged our relationship along with it. Shaan and I had always found refuge in our friendship but since Lennox, he’d disappeared into the periphery as much as possible. I wanted my colorful, funny, biting younger brother back. Shaan bobbed his head and exited the chamber. I wanted to run after him, think of something better to say, find some words that might fix the damage.
“Let him go,” Mother said. “He needs time, yet.”
The door closed with a thud that echoed through the empty chamber.
Mother crossed her arms and clicked her fingers against her bracelets. “I’m glad to see everyone return safely, especially Luz.”
I released a breathy laugh. “You’re making Luz believe they’re your favorite.”
She smirked. “They are my favorite.” I huffed a sigh, but my lips tipped up, betraying my true feelings, and she patted my cheek. “All right, beta, time to explain.” I released my bag and dropped onto the stairs in front of the thrones. Mother lowered beside me and clasped her hands together. “Perhaps you’d like to explain how you returned with Prince Lennox’s zevar and a wife.”
I blew out a breath, and she rubbed my back the way she did as a child when I couldn’t sleep. Then I explained the entire story to her starting with meeting Lira in Landre—skipping her threatening me at knife point—and ending with me creating the hoax of kidnapping her and marrying her to help her evade Carrington’s authority since her magic was vowed to him. “Lira got Shaan’s zevar. We owed her protection, and it was all I could think of at the moment. And it leaves her an opening to return to their court if it’s useful in the future.”
Mother’s earrings swung as she tilted her head. “Plus, you’re in love with her.”
Her words were like a punch that knocked the air from me and left me sputtering. “Well… I have some feelings for her… That’s not…” My speech came as unarticulated as my thoughts. Yes, I felt drawn to Lira and attracted to her. In love, though? I wasn’t sure I would use that word. It meant something far greater than what I’d had with Lira. Love was the steady knowing that Mother and Father shared. Love was Ishir giving up his comfortable palace guard position and joining our dangerous group to help his friend. Love was Neia tearing into anyone that so much as looked at Elisa wrong.
Mother fixed me with a look.
Love was making a marriage vow to protect a person regardless of the massive political and personal implications because it would protect them.
Oh shit.
Mother smiled like she followed my train of thought. “You do not think I know my children, beta?”
I swallowed and leaned on my knees. “I’ve hurt her. The feelings are not mutual.”
“Perhaps.” She squeezed my arm and let her fingers linger. “I’ve long hoped you might find someone. If she’s intelligent—and I don’t doubt she is if you care for her—she will come around and see the man I know you are.”
Mother’s words warmed me even if I doubted them. “There’s something else I must tell you as well.” I’d skipped a detail when relaying the initial story. I wanted to protect Lira, and she didn’t wish for extra attention. But she was safe here with my family.
“More surprises? What an adventure you’ve had.”
I couldn’t help a small smile at the dry humor in Mother’s voice but wasn’t able to return it with the weight of what I needed to say. “Lira is elemental.”
Mother jerked towards me, and a beat of silence—strung with the hope of a thousand prayers and the tension from a century of narrowly avoiding war—passed between us. “You’re certain?”
“I’ve seen her wield fire, ice, and wind. I’m positive.”
“Does she have a brother?”
“She says no.”
Mother paused long enough that I lifted my face. Her dark hair contrasted against the bright colors of the tiled wall behind her. “That complicates things, but I think stealing someone King Carrington considers a citizen of his court in front of him already made this situation precarious.”
I rubbed my hands together, the griminess of them making me long for a bath. “I’m sorry.”
She clasped her arm around me. “You did the right thing. I just have to consider the political implications. In fact, I should discuss this with the court.”
“Of course.”
She rose but looked back over her shoulder. “Sai?”
I raised my face again even though exhaustion pulled me down. “Yes?”
“You did well.”
