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He rocked back a step, horror solidifying in his gut and paralysing his larynx.
Finally he found his voice. ‘You really believe I’d do that?’ He drew air into hollow lungs. ‘What have I ever done to give you such a low opinion of me?’
His chest was on fire, at odds with the cold frosting his skin.
She stared at him, eyes glazed and the pulse at the base of her neck thrumming. She blinked, black pupils huge in her fiery eyes. ‘I...’
Jack stalked to the window. A pair of snow-white swans skimmed the green waters below but he barely saw them. ‘You think I’m a monster?’
He spun around to find her just behind him.
She was pregnant and stressed. He tried to tell himself her accusation didn’t matter, but itdid. It felt like a cleaver striking his chest, sinking past flesh, bone and muscle right to his soul.
‘I’ve spent my life trying to be a decent man.’ A better man than his father. ‘Ambitious and successful, yes. But honest and honourable.’ And caring. He wanted to care for his child, though he feared he didn’t know how. Was that such a crime? He grimaced. ‘Why would you believe, even for a second, that I’d behave that way?’
‘I’m sorry, Jack.’ She shook her head, her teeth anchoring deep on her plush lower lip. ‘I don’t really... I’m sorry. I panicked. I just feel so overwhelmed, like I’ve got no control.’
Her words struck home. Wasn’t that how he felt? For Jack control had been his way of rising above his emotions. Emotions that were never returned. Emotions he’d banished from his life years ago.
Except you’re feeling now, aren’t you? Feeling too much.
Slowly the blurred edges of his vision cleared and he managed to breathe over the ache in his chest where her words had carved so deep.
‘We’re both adjusting to the news of the baby.’ See, he could be reasonable, despite the provocation. Yet it took everything he had to suppress his outrage.
Elisabeth spread her hands. ‘How exactly do you see the future, Jack?’
‘It’s simple. We’re having a child.’ He paused, holding her golden-brown gaze and feeling again that pulse of excitement. ‘I want to be there, raising it, with you.’ He let her absorb that. ‘We’re married and I want us to stay that way. Bringing up our baby together. Giving it a warm, loving environment.’
All the things he hadn’t had from his own parents.
It sounded simple but he knew how rare and valuable that was. He’d do whatever it took to provide that for his child.
‘That won’t work. You know I want a divorce.’
Jack stared down at his wife, valiantly fighting his baser instincts. The urge to prove her wrong, prove she wanted him as much as he wanted her, was almost irresistible.
‘But I don’t want one.’
She stepped back. ‘That’s impossible. Our marriage was a disaster.’
Was. Past tense.
Jack refused to accept that.
‘I disagree.’ He raised his hand to stop her when she would have objected. ‘We have problems but they’re not insurmountable.’
Nothing was insurmountable. He’d convince her to stay with him by force of will if nothing else. He’d worked all his life to achieve what he had. He’d fought for every success. He intended to fight for this.
‘You’re only saying this because you want the child.’
‘Ourchild.’
‘Our child.’ Her eyes narrowed accusingly. ‘But you can be a father without being married. You’re not really interested in us as a couple. We can negotiate an arrangement for access. That would be easier on everyone.’
Jack felt the storm brewing inside him. Muscles stiffened and sinews tightened. ‘I’m not interested in us as a couple?’
He took a step towards her, closing the space between them. He read her confusion and fear and something that shimmered between hope and excitement. That cut through his hard-won control. The knowledge that, despite her arguments, Elisabethwantedas badly as he.
