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“I suppose that’s possible,” I mumble. “I’m not an easy woman to love, though. And raising two kids on my own, it’s not something that any man would want to deal with.”
“Do you really think you’re not easy to love?” Luke says, slightly puzzled. “There’s so much about you to love, Avery. No man in his right mind would pass up the opportunity.”
“You’re being kind,” I giggle.
“I’m being serious. Just because you’ve had a rough life, just because you’re raising two beautiful, brilliant little girls on your own, doesn’t make you—”
“Damaged goods?”
“Damaged goods.” He sighs deeply upon hearing the words and repeating them. “You’re not damaged goods, Avery. If anything, I think what you’ve been through up to this point has only served to make you stronger and smarter.”
“Well I definitely know what I don’t want.”
Luke chuckles dryly. “And that’s a much better starting point than what you had when you were eighteen, don’t you think?”
“Ah, yes. Progress.”
“The healing process from any kind of trauma is never linear. There will be days when you will feel virtually unstoppable, like a queen on top of the world. But there will also be days when you won’t even want to leave the house. Our souls are fickle and fragile things, but our bodies, our minds… they go the distance. I speak from experience here. It does get better. It always gets better.”
I like the sound of that. I only hope it’ll get better before I find myself exhausted and unable to love anyone ever again. All the love I have in me right now is being poured into my daughters. Miley and Annie need me wholly, and I don’t mind devoting myself to their safety and their nurturing. But Luke is right—someday I will want to look out into the world again and find a man who is willing and even eager to take me precisely as I am.
Part of me secretly steals glances at the likes of Kellan, Fallon, and Luke. My body yearns for more of Kellan. And my mind is already having naughty fantasies about Fallon. The look in Luke’s eyes isn’t making things easy, either. The temptation is gnawing away at me, and I don’t know what to do about it.
7
Avery
To my surprise, Kellan takes me out in the evening. I didn’t think I’d be seeing him again for a couple of days, considering his workload. Yet he made time for me, and I don’t know how to feel about that. I’m happy, of course. Thrilled, to be specific. But I don’t know where we’re going with this. The magnetism between us is undeniable, and I definitely wouldn’t mind exploring it further. I only fear that I might end up catching feelings. I’m not sure this is the right time. Yet I cannot bring myself to pull away. It feels too good to be with him.
We’re at a local pub in North Platte. It’s a nice place with dim lighting and 80s rock music playing out of a retro-style jukebox with a built-in CD player. I sink into my seat as Kellan comes back from the bar with a bottle of red wine and two glasses.
“I thought we’d start off slow,” he says, settling in.
“You remembered I like red wine,” I reply, smiling as I watch him open the bottle with a classic corkscrew. Every movement of his hands is swift and precise. Once the cork is out, he gives the wine a minute to breathe before he pours it into the glasses.
“I hope you like this particular vintage,” he says. “It’s from Napa Valley.”
“Honestly, I’m not fussy about wine in general. It’s the company I enjoy the most.”
Kellan gives me a broad smile, his green eyes twinkling with a fascinating mixture of desire and affection. Something has definitely changed between us since the other night. My core still burns with arousal whenever I find myself remembering his touch, his lips and his tongue working me into one frenzy after another. I’ve never felt so sated and so eager for more.
“You look beautiful in blue,” he says.
I feel myself blush. “Thank you. Helen took me and the girls to a store earlier today and we got a few things. Thank you so much for the money too. I’ll pay you back when I recover my bank accounts and all that.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Kellan replies. “By the way, my friend says he’ll have your passport and driver’s license ready before the end of the week. We’ll use those to open up a new bank account for you, something temporary that you can use while we sort out the whole Daniel issue.”
At first, I wasn’t sure about getting fake ID’s or whether or not I should let Kellan do all this, but he convinced me that it’s a safer option until I get my life back. Given that I’ll be applying for remodeling jobs in the North Platte area, I will need some form of identification and a bank account for clients to pay into, and since I can’t use my real identity until Daniel is arrested it only makes sense to go along with this plan. I don’t want to rely on Kellan’s financial aid for too long, I will definitely be paying him back.
“It makes sense,” I tell him. “Doesn’t make me feel any better, but you’re right. I do need some financial freedom of movement, so to speak.”
“You’ll be okay, Avery.” He pauses and takes a long sip of his wine. “Has he left you any new voicemails?”
“No. Radio silence, actually. Not even a text. Do you think that’s a good thing?”
Kellan gives it a moment’s thought. “I don’t. A man like him won’t give up that easily. I’m still waiting for some contacts of my brother’s to give us access to certain CCTV systems in the county, but if Daniel is so intent on staying off the radar, it means he’s probably building up to something.”
“He’ll need to find me, first,” I mutter.
