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This is crazy what’s happening to me. My emotions start running away from me and they all run to him. I can tell he senses he’s crushed my resistance because his kisses turn compensating like he’s trying to reward me. They’re slower now, softer and my nails dig into the moss when he slides his tongue over my lower lip, tasting me and he grunts and groans and his body is pumping with need. When he breaks the kiss, I almost burst into tears.
I want that back!
Opening my eyes, I slowly come back down to earth again and I notice that Axwell is peering down at me, his brows curving and I let out a sigh. Giving him a smile, I expect him to smile back (or try at least) but instead he withdraws. At the moment his body and mine are no longer connected, I almost panic.
Sitting up, I reach out my hand, searching for him but he doesn’t notice and he rises. He seems conflicted, brimming with energy and he’s glancing at me like he wants something from me. I bite my lip.
“A...Axe...?”
“I thought you wanted me.”
“I do want you!”
“But you ran,” he says and he really took that hard. Took that personally. “I need a moment, beloved,” he rasps and his chest heaves. He makes an attempt to close his shredded vest and shirt but gives up and walks over to a tree. I can’t see his face, only his massive back and I get up, trembling because I don’t know what he needs me to do.
“Fuck!” he curses suddenly and closing his fist, he starts hammering it into the tree stem, making no sounds of pain and I whimper. This man doesn’t realize his own brutality! He’s so used to it, it’s all he knows. He hits the tree over and over again until I can’t take it anymore.
“Stop!” I yell and run over to him. “You’re hurting yourself.” I try to rip him from the tree but I don’t have the strength and I clasp his hand instead, looking at his busted knuckles and my heart clenches. “Don’t do that anymore. It must be so painful.”
“Hard for me to feel physical pain,” he breathes through his teeth. “And it was nothing compared to what I felt on the inside when you ran. I’d happily do this to my other fist if you try to escape again.”
My eyes water and I whisper, “I wouldn’t have tried to escape if...,” I trail off, biting my lip. “Never mind, just know that I won’t ever repeat it.”
Axwell hangs with his head and I try to get him to look at me but he just breathes raggedly. Feeling helpless, I throw my arms around his neck but he’s still immovable and I hang on him like a swing, trying to get him to react but he refuses.
“I said I won’t do it again,” I assure him and I shake his shoulders to get him to snap out of it. “Don’t you trust me?” He’s still tense and putting my cheek on his skin, I add, “Axe, I promise I’ll stay with you.”
That gets him to defrost and he looks up, clasping my face. “You’ll be by my side? Never deter from it?”
I nod. “I’ll be your woman, Axe.” I firmly look him in his eyes, whispering, “I’ll be whatever you want me to be.”
“All I want is you with me,” he whispers, slanting his lips over mine and he gives me a kiss full of passion and hunger that it slashes me by my knees and I hold onto his chest, not to fall and my head swims. I’ll follow this man anywhere.
Anywhere. To the end of the earth. Because I fit inside of him, the way a small puzzle fits a bigger jigsaw.
“I don’t know what you’ve done to me,” I breathe and he pulls away, looking at my face.
“It’s the other way around. I don’t crave things,” he rasps. “Don’t crave anything other than violence but I now crave the truce you bring in me.”
Didn’t know that’s how he felt, didn’t know mobsters could feel that way. “You got it. Whatever you want it’s yours,” I say with trembling lips and he nods. He takes my hand, jerking his head and this time I go with him like the beating of my heart depends on it.
4.
Axwell
“On t...that?” Yale stutters, fidgeting and she stares at the motorbike when I hand her my helmet.
“It’s my only transportation,” I explain, frowning. “Had I known I would find you, I would have brought the car but for now this is all I got.”
Yale looks hesitant, before blurting, “Can’t let you leave without me.” She takes the helmet, carefully pulling it on her head to avoid messing up her coils but they’re going to get messed up by the wind anyway. The helmet is heavy for her frame, heavy enough to make her sway. She’s so much smaller than me, a tiny thing that emits a power that shackles me. Then she warily looks at the bike and I jerk my chin.
“He’s nice,” I assure her. “He won’t bite.” I sit down, starting the engine and she hops up behind me and as soon as her body brushes against mine, a haze covers my eyes and I shake my head. I need to stay clear, have precious cargo in the back and I grit my teeth. “You’re too close, beloved. Can’t focus when you’re this close.”
“Oh,” she murmurs, shifting slightly. “Better?”
No. But there’s really not that much we can do about it. I drive out on the road and Yale’s arms tighten around my waist when I pick up the speed. The wind whips me in the face and Yale lets out a squeal when we hit a curve.
“You’re going so fast!” she shrieks.
