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“Stop lying,” I grit.
“I’m not lying!” she cries.
Dammit!
“If I’m not your husband then what am I?” I growl. “How come I recognized you, how come I know all these things about you? How come I remember you and not anything else?”
She refuses to answer, deciding to keep hiding things for me which means she and I definitely have history together. Frustration boils in me and it increases when Autumn glances on the plastic clock on the wall.
“My shift’s over,” she murmurs and I reach over the table and grab her hand.
“I won’t let you leave. Sleep at the hospital. Take my bed, I’ll take the chair.”
Shaking her head, she replies, “I’ll be here in the morning.”
“Promise,” I snarl.
“I promise!” she pants and her big eyes are honest and eyes never lie. I decide to believe her but every cell in my body is against her leaving. How am I supposed to survive a whole night without her? They may as well put me in a torture chamber. Where the fuck are those pills I was given earlier? I could use some more, preferably a whole bucket.
With my hand on her arm, I pull her closer until kissing her lush lips would be easy. “Let me put a baby in you before you leave,” I rasp and she lets out a shocked cry. “I know I’m not in my best shape but I think I’ll manage.”
“John!” she yaps, retrieving her arm and she pouts at me. “I am not letting you put a b...baby in me.” Ignoring my request, she gets up. “I’ll take you to bed. It’s obvious you need to rest.”
She nods her head for me to follow and since I don’t want to lose sight of her, I do as she asks. She walks in front of me down the hallway while I keep breathing down her neck and the staff and patients give us strange glances. I want to shield Autumn from them. Wrap my body around her like a bullet proof vest and protect her from anything that comes anywhere near her.
Once in my room, she pulls the covers to the side and helps me get comfortable. I hate this but I endure because at least she’s touching me. Puffing up my pillow, she looks down at me and her eyes soften.
“Is it good like this?”
No.
I want her on top of me or under me. I want to know what her voice sounds like when I wake her up in the middle of the night for some baby making. I want to know what her skin smells like in the small hours after dawn and I want to know how hard her heart beats right after she comes. I want to count the beats and when she turns to leave, I clasp her wrist.
Her brows curve over her eyes before rising when I start tugging at my collar. “Rub my chest before you leave,” I plead. Her jaw slacks so I add, “Do you want me fall asleep or not?”
Her hands fly to my chest and like a little massage therapist she starts rubbing. There are tattoos all over my torso and down my arms. Ink that I don’t know what the fuck it means but it looks like runes and Autumn twirls her fingers over one of them. I ease, my heart slowing down under her palms and she bites her lip. My eyes flutter. This feels good. When I let out a moan, she tenses but I urge her to carry on. Sliding her hands in circular motions over my pecs, she looks down at me and I think she wants something.
“I want to kiss you goodbye, John,” she whispers. “Can I?”
Swallowing, I nod and she presses her lips on top of mine. They’re warm and generous and I raise my head to suction more of her and I want her deep in my lungs and dancing in my veins. She pulls away too soon, running out of the room and the torture begins.
One night without her.
Surgery without anesthesia would’ve been preferable.
Help...fucking help me to last...
Help...
4.
Autumn
It’s a fresh and crisp morning when I return to the hospital. After changing into my uniform, I stop in my tracks in shock when I run into Hilma. She looks like she’s aged ten years over night and she pants,
“I know what you’re thinking. That “husband” of yours will be the death of me. He’s been giving all of us a run for our money the whole night.”
White in the face, I whisper, “What did he do?”
