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I never imagined the bossmancouldsnuggle.
What else don’t I know?
My life has been cleanly divided into two phases.BeforeandAfterlast weekend.
Except, somehow Before feels like one long hazy dream in black and white.
After, now that’s transcendent.
Like seeing the world in color for the very first time. A learning experience I wasn’t ready for, and if there’s a lesson, I hope to God one day I’ll figure it out.
I’m still trying.
But I remember the mole on the small of his back.
The scar across his side that matches the one on his face. I spent a long time kissing both, asking questions with my lips he wouldn’t answer.
Who hurt you Shepherd?
Who or what made your life so hard you pretend not to care?
Seriously, my knees have never been so weak.
Ugh.
I’m grateful there were other moments, though.
As Molly flops down by my feet, taking a breather, we linger by the park bench. I’m reluctant to head home and read over a new stack of sea otter studies.
Another night is creeping in, and that’s when the memories come out to shame the bedbugs with their bite.
I’m not sure I’ll ever forget our last real conversation about Vanessa Dumas after we pillaged each other for the last time.
I never thought he’d ever talk about it in such detail.
Especially not while we were still naked in the cool morning air, huddled together in layered sleeping bags and blankets across the sand.
* * *
“You were right,”he says against my hair, holding me so close.
We’re chest to chest, and his warmth soaks into me like a bath. I sigh against his throat.
“That’s a big deal, you fessing up. What was I right about?”
“I never hurt her. Vanessa, I mean.”
I pause.
That’s not a massive surprise, but hearing him say it is.
I knew I wasn’t wrong, but for him to come out and even bring it up...
“...do you want to talk about what happened with her?”
“Fuck it, why not?” He twines a lock of my hair around his fingers. “I think I just want you to know my side of the story. The truth. Someone else should, besides the lawyers who only listen because I’m paying them a thousand bucks an hour. Because you knew what she said wasn’t true, but I never told you what was.”
His heart starts pounding against my cheek.
