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It takes everything in me to stay still. To not flinch. To not grab his hand and shove it away. Or drag it farther between my legs.
He shifts again, and his fingers curl around the inside of my knee, like he’s holding me to him.
I expect him to wake up, but he doesn’t. And his breathing doesn’t change.
I take a deep, slow inhale, and I make my muscles relax.
Just lean in, Val.
Taking Dom’s words literally, I tip my head to the side.
My cheek meets the top of his head, the short length tickling my skin.
The feeling is so nice, so pleasant, that I nuzzle against him.
I rub my cheek back and forth, and it feels just as good as I knew it would.
Dominic lets out another tiny moan, and I freeze, keeping my cheek where it is against his head.
But that’s all he does. So I stay there, just like that, resting against a man I met at the airport who is asleep against my shoulder.
And I feel…
My chest tightens as emotions swarm my senses.
I feel kinda happy.
No, that’s not even right. I feelhappy. Like a real level of happy.
But then my throat squeezes, and my eyes sting. Because this is fleeting. I know it’s fleeting. And if I focus on it, it’ll disappear right in front of me.
Out of nowhere, I’m reminded of a video I saw once. It was of a raccoon with a handful of cotton candy. He looked so happy to have it, but then he put it into a puddle, because raccoons sometimes wash their food, and it dissolved. And the look on his face…
I sniff.
Fuck.
He looked so sad and so confused, and just thinking about that stupid video is sending me over the edge. Because I’m that raccoon. And Dominic is my cotton candy. And if I pretend like he’s mine, if I act like I can keep him, then when that reality dissolves, it’s going to ruin me.
I let my eyes close.
I won’t fall asleep. I’m too aware of where I am, who I’m with, to do that.
Plus, I don’t want to miss a moment of this feeling. No matter how fleeting.
* * *
The credits are rollingwhen Dominic starts to stir. My eyes have been closed, but feeling him shift, I slide them open.
I’m grateful he stayed asleep for so long. Grateful I had time to get my raging emotions under control. And in that time, I was able to remind myself that we exchanged numbers. Or, more specifically, Dominic took my phone and entered his number after sending himself mine.
I’m not under any delusions that we’re going to date. But maybe, just maybe, we’ll see each other again.
And that has to be enough.
The warm fingers gripping my thigh flex, and Dom makes a deeper humming sound before his scratchy, sleepy voice speaks. “Well, this is a nice surprise.”
My hands are hidden under his suit jacket that I’ve continued to use as a blanket, but I flex them in my lap in response.
