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Package on its way
I lean back and try to watch the show, but I’m not seeing it. I know in my bones after every assignment, every kill, I watch this show because it helps me process the pain of what I just did.
I’m a monster.
I kill people.
I can honestly say some of them were bad and needed to die, like the man who had Matty and the man who had the girl from two weeks ago. But not all of them were bad in the sense they were evil. They were bad because they ran organized crime families.
There is a knock on the door, and I roll to the side to grab my gun. Moving toward the door, I don’t look through the peephole or stand in front of it. Instead, I step into the entrance of the bathroom.
“Who’s there?”
“I have a message for Luna Lou,” a male voice I don’t recognize says. Only a few people know that nickname. It’s one of the memories I had since entering the room and trying to relax after seeing Matty again. “Big Bang Theory,” the voice says, and I open the door, holding my gun in the man’s face. “I have a delivery.” He hands me the package, and I look at it.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. I was contracted six months ago to find you if you sent me a message.”
This is the person I texted a bit ago.
I hand the man some money, but he shakes his head at me. “I owe you.” He walks down the hall, and I stick my head out to look at him. He knows me. He owed me?
I move back to the bed with the new package and open it up. It contains a laptop, cell phone, and a small surgical kit.
Luna,
It’s me. I’m you. Only use this laptop and phone for contacts after you watch the video. It will explain what you need to do. It’s time to fight for yourself. You’ve been tortured enough by the doctor.
Me
I reread the letter over and over before I open the laptop. I see the fingerprint scan and press my index finger to it. I’m surprised when it unlocks and a screen pops up of a video stopped. I press play and watch myself telling me what I need to know.
I learn more of what I was already sure of. I learn how the doctor has been controlling me with mind control drugs and shock therapy. But the scary part is I have a tracker in my body so they can find me at any time. I watch the video over and over until I get the nerve up to do this. I have to.
I walk into the bathroom with the small kit and roll it out on the counter. Carefully, I slip my hair to the side and see the small scar. I take the scalpel. I’m not afraid of the pain. I’m not nervous about pulling it out. I’m worried they will know what I’m doing and take me back.
But I did what the video me told myself to do. I have my bags packed, ready to leave if I have to, but for a bit I’m going to continue on this mission. I don’t know what it’s about, but something about Revello is important. And it’s not just his sexy body or soft full lips. It’s something so intrinsic to my system. Something that I feel will help me to remember everything.
I slice into my skin carefully. Blood seeps out and slides down the side of my neck and down my chest. I watch it, entranced for a moment. I see blood splattering across a room. I see blood over and over in visions. People dying.
Death.
I shake off the thoughts and return to the task and see the small tracker. I pull it out carefully with my gloved hand and wrap it in a warm washcloth and glove. After setting it on the counter, I stitch up the small incision. It’s things like this that I wonder how I know, but I don’t know.
Just like I knew that Dario was speaking to me in Italian tonight.
I clean myself up and put a small flesh-colored bandage on myself. My video instructions said I had to carry the tracker with me everywhere I go for a couple of days so they think I’m still working for them.
My video self couldn’t tell me much about my past, but I remember what I think are memories of myself. I’m playing and two different men are with me. I see two women too. One smiles at me, but she’s sick. The other hates me. I feel it in my bones.
When I fall asleep, it’s full of dreams and nightmares. I see the men I’ve killed in the past. I see the doctor as he rapes me over and over. I see more of the two men who I know love me.
Love. I’m not sure how I know what it is, but I can feel it. I feel it in my chest when I see them in my dreams. The feeling of peace and calm.
ChapterFive
DARIO
