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"That is…"
There is a mummy alright. But there aren't any curses, or past life infatuations. No, this is just…
Mummy porn.
"Raf, what is this?" Noelle asks, amusement in her tone.
I squeeze my eyes shut in embarrassment.
"The mummy?" I internally cringe.
"Well, this mummy has definitely had an upgrade in the last few decades. Especially," she coughs, "package wise."
The next shot is of the mummy sporting quite a big bulge under all the bandages. And soon, the plot becomes quite clear.
An explorer intrudes on the mummy's final resting place and accidentally awakens him and his curse, which, incidentally, involves a lot of sex.
Noelle giggles by my side, one scene after another the movie becoming worse and worse. From mummy sex and sexual cursed frogs to an orgy at the pyramids, I don’t think this is something I'mevergoing to live down.
I consider swooping her in my arms and getting out of here at least once every second, but that would only draw unwanted attention to us.
Instead, I fool myself that she's actually enjoying the mummy's shenanigans and the fact that this remake is clearly an erotic parody.
As we exit the cinema, I wait for her to speak, mentally going over all the excuses I can come up with.
Granted, when I'd seen there was onlyoneshowing ofThe Mummy,I'd jumped at the chance, thinking this was the perfect movie to watch together. It hadn't crossed my mind to check other things, like previous reviews or even the tags on the damn movie.
"That might be my new favorite movie," she jokes, gazing up at me, her lips pursed as she forces herself to contain her amusement.
"You don't have to say that for my sake," I groan. "Clearly, I made a miscalculation when I booked the tickets," I mumble, feeling my cheeks heat up.
"You know, that was one of the most enlightening movies I have ever seen," she adds pensively. "Now I know I don't have any mummy fetish," she jokes, referring to the way the protagonist had gotten off on the, erm…bandages of the mummy. "And I do hope you don't have one either," she leans in to whisper.
"For sure, completely crossed off the list," I immediately reply. "I don't think I'm ever going to look at bandages the same…"
"Well, there you have it. It wasn't a complete bust. We got to learn something," she stops, fitting her body to mine as she brings her fingers to trace my jaw. "We canalwayslearn something. And I for one can't wait to explore more things with you," she adds suggestively.
"Damn it all, Noelle. You do know how to mend a man's ego," I drawl, tipping her chin up so I can taste her lips.
"Now take me to dinner. I'm absolutely famished," she draws back, winking at me.
SIXTEEN
RAFAELO
I tryto put the movie disaster behind me and focus on the next portion of the date. After all, what could go wrong with dinner?"
The restaurant is stunning, the view even more so as we are seated close to the river. The night sky is ablaze in the distance, the city alive still at this late hour.
"This is beautiful, Raf," Noelle praises as she takes her seat, her eyes taking in her surroundings.
"I'm glad you like it. This time I checked the reviews for the place, and their steak is excellent. In fact," I pause as I open the menu, pointing to the spicy steak special they have. “This is the most popular dish and I know how much you like both."
"You're such a dear," she gushes.
A secret smile creeps up my face. I'd scoured the menus of at least ten restaurants to make sure I was choosing a place she'd love.
The waiter comes to pick up our order and I invite Noelle to choose whatever else she wants from the menu, after which I place my own order.
