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"It doesn't matter," he shakes his head. "Not anymore."
But it does. Can't he see how much it matters to me? To hear that I was the cause of his anguish cuts me on the inside.
"You're here now," he continues. "The past no longer matters, pretty girl. Not when I have you by my side. Not when I know that despite everything, we found our way to each other. Iloveyou," he declares poignantly. "I've loved you under many names, and many guises. But it's always been you. God," he closes his eyes, "I still can't believe this is real."
"It is," I assure him. "I'm here, and I'm never going away."
As long as you don't send me the way.
Those unspoken words are always at the back of my mind. If he finds out everything I've done…for him, for us, for this love that is more potent than any other force in the universe.
But he can't. He canneverfind out.
A smile appears on his lips as he kisses my forehead, slowly pulling out of me before removing the toy and cleaning me with a napkin. He's silent as he tends to me, first between my legs, before moving up, fixing my clothes and finally, getting another napkin to dab at my face and fix my ruined make-up.
Yet all that silence speaks louder than any other word.
His eyes are damp with unshed tears, the blue of his irises a stormy shade that speaks of restless nights, of pain and suffering, but finally, of light at the end of the tunnel.
"Blue," the word is out of my mouth before I can help it. He's always been Blue to me. Before thehacienda, before everything. He'll always bemyBlue.
"My darling girl," he whispers, gazing at me how I imagined he would all those years ago—with a love to equal my own.
Now I'm not alone in this madness that's been my driving force for so long. No, he's here with me. All the way with me.
When he's finished with his ministrations, he takes a step back, looking thoroughly satisfied with what he's seeing.
"Shall we?"
I nod, a little wobbly from the combination of sex and alcohol. He sees that, tugging me close to his body.
"No more drinks for you tonight."
I pout at him. But he simply chuckles as he leads me towards the entrance of the club where we're immediately received once the bouncer sees our bracelets.
Already a little tired from dancing—and other exertions—we decide to head straight to the VIP section and rest for a while.
We're barely a few feet down the red lit hallway when someone calls us from behind.
Raf stops, frowning as he turns to deal with whatever inconvenience arose, tucking me gently behind him—ever my giant protector.
I sneak a peek, seeing a man saunter towards us, a crooked grin on his face as he whistles slowly.
Raf tenses by my side, keeping one arm around me as he pushes me further behind him.
"What did you just say?" Raf grits out, aggression rolling off him.
I blink. I hadn't heard what the other man had said, but clearly it's something that pissed Raf off.
"Come on, don't play dumb," the man counters.
And as he comes closer, I notice he's swaying from side to side ever so slightly, probably drunk.
"Don't mind him, Raf. Let's go," I tug on his sleeve. The last thing we need is to get eyes on us by getting into a conflict with someone.
"Stay out of it, Noelle," my husband warns, the sweet man from before all but gone. "Let the man repeat what he just said."
His voice is laced with danger, and once more I have to wonder what the man must have said to get him so worked up.
