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"You know you'll always have a home with us, don't you?"
A smile pulls at my lips at the double entendre. She's telling me I can return home should Raf ever find out—and shun me forever.
Alas, eventheydon't know half the things that occurred at thehacienda.
Raf wouldn't leave me.
He wouldkillme.
* * *
"Nothing is going to happen,Raf. Look, I'm in bed and ready to go to sleep. Which, by the way, it's whatyoushould be doing, too, considering you're the one who banged your head," I tell him as I move the phone around to show him I'm already tucked in bed.
He's been blowing my phone incessantly for the last few hours, insisting to see me because he was missing me. As he wouldn't take no for an answer, I'd had to hurry back home one way or another.
Since there was no way I would be able to scaleupthe building, I'd had to quickly improvise and find a way home without alerting the guards to my presence. With the clock ticking—and a few too many missed calls from Raf—I'd bought a new set of clothes, using them to disguise my appearance to get inside the building. It had been slightly more difficult to getinsideour apartment, but I'd managed to distract the security at the door long enough for me to sneak inside.
As soon as I'd gotten inside, I'd changed into a pair of pajamas and got into bed, ready to pretendnothingis wrong—even thougheverythingis wrong.
And here I am, forcing a smile at the camera and trying to assure Raf that nothing will happen to me for one night. Yet inside, I'm anything but fine. The discussion with Yuyu is still fresh in my mind, her words echoing in my brain. Despite everything, I can't help but understand where she and Cisco were coming from when they put the safety of their child above everything.
I would have done the same.
And that brings me again to…Mali.
My little boy who never stood a chance because he had the misfortune to be born to a wretched mother.
The sight of his slight body in that cradle still haunts me—though I always do my best to not think about it.
But it's becoming harder and harder to do that, especially knowing I may never be able to have another child…
Am I really this cursed?
"Noelle?" Raf's voice shakes me from my thoughts. "What's wrong, pretty girl. I've been talking to you and you zoned out."
"I'm sleepy," I fake a yawn. "Why don't we talk in the morning? I'll come at the hospital when you get discharged."
"Fine… Just… Don't worry too much, ok? I'm perfectly fine."
"I know that," I smile, letting my eyes roam all over his face and searing that image in my heart. "Nothing will touch you, Raf," I promise, the words vague to him, but a vow to me.
No one will ever touch him again.
If I have to become wickedness incarnate, I will do it. I will become what I once was—that dreaded being everyone feared.
All for him.
"You know it, pretty girl. I won't let anyone harm us. Sleep now," he murmurs, bringing the phone to his lips to send me a virtual kiss.
Despite my sour mood, I can't help but giggle as I return the kiss.
When I finally get Raf to hang up, I set my alarm for two hours from now and I close my eyes to sleep. I may have a plan to execute, but I've never been one for impulsive displays—at least not when it matters the most.
I need to operate at maximum capacity in order to do what I'd set out to, and that means factoring in at least a few hours of rest as well.
Despite the fact that my heart is clamoring with an urgency for immediate results, my head needs to remain in charge so I can remain as objective as possible. I will, after all, venture into an old chapter of my life that I would have preferred to keep closed forever.
For him, I'm willing to do anything. FormyRaf.
