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It can't be real.
Raf isn't here.
He didn't see me.
He didn't…
"Noelle," he says my name, his tone cold. He places me on the ground, taking a step back from me and taking his body heat with him.
Bereft. I feel so, so bereft.
I raise my eyes to look at him, to search his gaze. Yet I can't see anything.
I've always been able to read him—always. Yet now… I don't know what he's thinking, or feeling.
"Raf… I…"
"What are you doing here, Noelle?" he asks in a low voice. "Why are you dressed like that? Why…"
"Nothing happened," I quip. "Nothing happened. You know I'd never cheat on you," I give him a tremulous smile.
"But you'd lie. Isn't that right?"
"I didn't…" I stammer.
"Stop," he shakes his head. "Just…stop."
Closing his eyes, he brings his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.
"How long?"
"What do you mean?" I ask softly.
"How long have you remembered?"
"A while," I whisper, averting my eyes.
"And you never thought to tell me? Not even when I was talking to you about the past?" He shakes his head, disgust painting his features.
"Raf, I…"
"Why?" he asks sharply. "Why did you hide it? Because of this?" He points to Ortega's dead body.
I shake my head, barely fighting the urge to run away—to hide away.
"Or was it because of something else? Something you didn't want me to find out…" he trails off.
I whip my head up, blinking as I take him in—searching for any clue of what he might mean.
"No, I swear, I just wanted to keep you safe," I say, taking a step forward as I grab his hands, needing the comfort of his touch. "He was a threat to your life and I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't…"
"Keep me safe," he repeats dryly. "Hear that," he laughs.
"Raf, I did it all for you," I whisper, squeezing his hands before bringing them to my face, urging him to touch me and put me out of my misery. "Everything I've ever done has been for you," I continue, imbuing my words with all the emotion I can muster so he can see—so he can realize that he's been my one driving force for the better part of a decade. "I've loved you for so long…"
"Really?" he cuts me off, his eyes a steely blue that cuts me in half. "Did you rape me for me, too?" he suddenly asks and I blanch.
Letting go of his hands, I take a step back.
