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I frown at her.
“Just this morning you killed a man to ensure I wouldn’t get these videos and now… I don’t understand you, Noelle.”
She gives me a sad smile.
“That’s just the thing, Raf. By watching those videos, you will understand exactly why I never wanted you to see that. But if this is the only way I can erase the doubts from your mind, then so be it.”
I stare at her for moments on end, confusion swirling in my mind.
She’s a goddamn befuddling contradiction.
“Fine,” I sigh. “Let’s do that.”
Plugging the SD card into my phone, I watch as a miles long list of videos suddenly appears on the screen.
“Pick a video,” I tell her.
They are all ordered by date stamps, and I have no doubt Noelle knows the meaning of them.
She purses her lips in concentration as she browses them before her finger hovers over one particular date.
“This one. This is when you were first brought in at the drug facility.”
A little apprehensive but more than anything curious, I click on the video, fast-forwarding through the boring bits until I spot myself being injected with the drug for the first time, and the way I reacted to it.
“What was the original drug?” I find myself asking as dread accumulates in the pit of my stomach.
“You nailed it with the scopolamine compound, which affects memory and makes the subject more pliable. But at that time, Sergio was looking into expanding into other avenues. He figured that adding a downer to the cocktail would make the best sex slaves because they would be placid. But adding an upper would make people aggressive—enough to itch for a fight at every turn. The only thing they all had in common was that they would never remember anything they did under the influence.”
“Which one was I on?” I whisper, though the answer is soon evident on the screen.
She’s quiet for a moment, the sounds from the footage echoing in the stillness of the forest.
“You were still yourself, Raf. It’s just that some…behaviors were more enhanced.”
“Which one was I on, Noelle?” I repeat, wanting to hear it from her own lips even as I watch the horror show in front of me.
“The upper,” her voice is barely audible.
Noelle couldn’t have raped me, even if she wanted to. Because I would have ripped her to shreds.
I swallow hard, forced to end the video as I see myself like never before—truly behaving like a beast and not a human.
“Tell me then,” I put the phone aside, turning my attention towards her. “Tell me everything that happened after the wedding.”
She gives me a small nod.
“Just… I want you to bear in mind that everything I did was for survival. Mine and yours, Raf. I just never expected things to get that out of hand, or for there to be so many casualties.”
“Tell me,” I demand, finally ready to face the past.
“I don’t know how long I was out after the beating I got on the wedding night but…
20Noelle
Noelle groaned in pain as she struggled to open her eyes.
Everything hurt.
