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She supposed it was the nerves, for she was getting queasy the moment she thought of that damned contest. And she couldn't figure out why.
She'd held her own solo concerts in the past. She'd been to competitions since she'd been a little child and should have gotten used by now to the stress. Yet she felt worse than she'd ever felt.
A part of it was due to her musical block and the fact that her second piece was not at its peak. But then there was also the fact that she felt everyone's eyes on her—some waiting for her victory while others watched closer for her failure.
She thought about the people at her school. There were thirty people enrolled in the competition, out of which at least ten could give her a run for her money.
Of course, stressed as she was, she saw everyone as better than her in that moment.
Then there were her teachers. There were those who truly wished to see her succeed and had been nice to her in the past despite her aloof manner. But there were also those that Noelle knew had other favorites, and as such hoped anyonebuther would win the contest.
As much as she only heard the praises of those around her, she knew there were equally as many people, or more, who wanted her to fail.
"You should be asleep."
Her mother's voice startled her. Noelle's head whipped around, watching Elena come closer, her eyes narrowing at her.
"I couldn't," she murmured. "So I made myself a cup of tea."
"You should have woken someone to do it for you," her mother snapped, grabbing her hands and feeling for them. "What if you burned your fingers? What if you spilled boiling water on your hands and…"
"I know how to make myself a cup of tea without burning myself," Noelle added dryly, snatching her hands back.
Her mother's nostrils flared at her tone.
"How many times have I told you to not use that tone with me, young lady?" Elena gritted her teeth.
Noelle simply regarded her with a bored expression.
Though her body was still experiencing the remnants of her anxiety, she willed herself tonotshow her weakness. Especially to her mother, who only knew how to exploit.
Tilting her head, she gave her mother a slow, ironic smile.
"How many times have you deserved a better tone?" She asked, keeping the same tone.
She knew she was courting her mother's anger just as she knew their interactions rarely ended peacefully. Yet something inside of her did not allow her to back down.
"You ungrateful little bitch!" The words flew from her mother's mouth at the same time as her palm connected with Noelle's cheek.
The blow was strong enough to make Noelle reel, tears pricking behind her lids from the force of it. But she pushed it down, as she always did. She wasn't going to show her pain.
It wasn't the first time her mother had hit her, and likely it wouldn't be the last time.
"Are you done?" She slowly turned, schooling her features with the indifference she knew her mother couldn't stand.
"God help me, Noelle, if you don't win tomorrow…"
"You're going to what?" She pushed her chin up as she regarded her mother. "There's nothing you can do,mamma,"she sneered at Elena, rising from her chair and seeking to bypass her on her way out.
If there was one thing she'd learned over the years, it was that her mother hated when Noelle ignored her. She would get violent, she would yell, and she would make a scene. Despite knowing she would likely be hit, and cursed at, Noelle also knew the entire situation affected her mother more than it did her.
Elena wanted to be in control. Always.
And Noelle liked nothing better than taking it away from her. One step at a time.
Just as Noelle moved, so did her mother, grabbing her arm.
"I'm so happy your father isn't here to see you," her mother spat out, her eyes gleaming with anger.
